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| No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken . and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion;. Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth. |
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| A Politically Correct Christmas Story 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labour conditions at the North Pole were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had v *** hed, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their rooftops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken ... |
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| Haha mighty.. Merry Christmas to all the regular posters on here!!! Hope you all get some time off work- me, I,ve got 1 1/2 weeks.. smokin' your'e bottle of bourbon is in the mail.. (empty 'tho) |
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| very good pies....golf claps for you :-) merry chrissy from me and myne all the best for 2009, its been niggling and baiting and sometimes quite heated especially when the topic is broadly debated but most of all its been fun. To all those i have upset when had my opinion i would say i'm sorry but you'd know i dont mean it...:P to all the afl yahooligans enjoy!! |
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| Merry X-mas everyone, have a safe holiday and hope to see you all back next year (even brownose). I will leave you with a tradtional Christmas Carol - enjoy. Benjamin , the ostracised Eagle/ had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him,/ you would even say it glows. All of AFL hierarchy/ used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Benjamin/join in any AFL games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve /Santa came to say: "Benjamin now your nose is not so bright, won't you go in the draft tonight?" Then all of Kevin Sheedy loved him /as the Richmond faithful shouted out with glee, "Benjamin the red-nosed footballer, you'll go down in Tiger history!" |
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| Yes Merry Christmas to all. Hope you all have a happy and safe time and we all make it back to annoy the cr@p out of each other next year. Take care, |
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| Merry xmas to everyone on here whether we see eye to eye or not.. Also to all your family, loved ones etc.. Best wishes for xmas, new year and beyond. Adrian. |
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| Ahh Richo I confess I am a Marking the footy junkie thats Sad isnt it hahaha |
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| Yohoho, All the Breasts, err Bestest to you all, Peace and Goodwill. To all and their families, friends, near and dear, "Be Safe" please. My Christmas-New Year will be delayed as we are literally belted by angry seas, Oh Cruel Sea, LOL... Anyhow, may your Pud be tasty, your partner not hasty and all in all, a damn fine time! |
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| Happi thought you were disappearing until after the New Year, Merry Christmas And Merry Christmas to everybody else too |
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| Hi Richo, Bourbon and Kinger merry Xmas to you and all the other posters here hope the new year is prosperous for you all but not to prosperous for your respective footy teams as there will only be one winner at the end of the season and I am hoping it my team | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Thanks Bourbon Merry Christmas to you as well, you too kinger and not likely..........LOL | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Thanks and same to you Bourbon. Merry Christmas everyone and their families, hope you all get the pressies you deserve especially rrown who will get 2 christmas stockings full of coal! Best wishes for the New Year to you all may your team finish below mine! |
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| Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry christmas.. i hope you all been good and santa brings ya lots of prezzies :-) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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