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| A young newly wed couple wanted to join a church. The reverend told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for one whole month." The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushers them into his office, the wife is crying and the husband obviously very depressed. "You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the Reverend inquired. "We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month...." the young man replied sadly. The Reverend asked him what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult.... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible.... anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts. One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right then and there" admitted the man shamefacedly. "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the Reverend. "We know." said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome at Bunnings either". |
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| 3 old ladies were sitting in a bus shelter , a flasher turned up ... 2 had a stroke the other couldn't quite reach. A rabbi was sitting in a bus shelter when a rasta man walked up and asked , " what times the next bus due."??the rabbi replied with ," in about 10 minutes n i g g er".!! |
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| A MAN caught by police with his p.e.n.i.s submerged in a pasta sauce jar was still pleasuring himself while resisting arrest, a court has been told. Police drew their weapons after New South Wales man Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, led them on a brief, slow-speed car chase, the Newcastle Herald reports. Weatherley attracted police attention while he was parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26 Newcastle Local Court was told yesterday. . Police thought he might have a weapon because they saw him doing something with his hands in his lap the Herald said. Instead they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar a police statement said. Thats when the pursuit began the court was told. When Weatherley was stopped he refused to leave his car and four officers used batons and capsicum spray to get him out. They found a 750mm jar around his p.e.n.i.s and said Weatherley attempted to continue pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling. HAHAHAHAHA--and they say "it's all in the sauce" |
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| An elephant asked a camel, 'Why are your breasts on your back?' 'Well,' says the camel, 'I think that's a strange question from somebody whose d/ck is on his face. |
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| .5/10 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Why do the Irish put ice cubes in their condoms? To keep the swelling down. |
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| 1/10. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Paddy weighs 120kg , so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you should loose 10kgs .' When Paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost 40 kg . 'That?s amazing the doc said'...Paddy nodded...'I'll tell you, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.' 'What from hunger said the doc?'...'No from the f........g skipping!' |
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| hat, pants, sh!t i always get those two muddled. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hope you dipped your hat when you said "no sir" ;) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| no sir! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Cunny funt hey !! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| gt, didn't swans_37 have some hot chick on it? :P | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| http://i38.tinypic.com/2urqpnb.jpg paint by numbers |
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| That was swans_37 chuck ... should still be there. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| See ya Angel GT, what happened to your profile ??. Thought you had an Adam Goodes picture on it. |
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| Have fun angel ... old bats can join in a laugh too. C ya ! |
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| Bye gents its been swell im off to feed the old bats..i mean old folks have a good arvo |
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| Seaworld or in here is no place to go fishing chucker ... not gonna debate this anymore. Swans #37 is BOSS ! |
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| Told ya you were wrong but so was I, his yacht was only 11'10". That fella has balls ! |
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| Seriously, I was at the aquarium at Seaworld , and saw the two stonefish in their little tank, and I thought, **** me that Stonefish looks like Adam Goodes | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Oi !!!!!! ... you have been officially removed from my christmas card list. Adam is a champ, a legend and a great bloke ... just like the old bats (stonefish) you should never judge a book by it's cover. My one word answer is NO ! |
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| Just to prove to you ,GT www.acrohc.com |
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| C'mon chucker, I don't believe a word of that ... I know the full story, he circumnavigated the globe on a surfboard. 12 foot boat, gee do you think we are dumb or what ;) |
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| They look more like stonefish rather than angels. Funny you should say that,GT, but have you noticed the uncanny resemblance between Adam Goodes and a stonefish?? |
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