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| lol good one | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| It's the AFL Grand final and a man makes his way to his seat right on the wing He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. 'No,' says the neighbour. 'The seat is empty.' 'This is incredible', said the man. 'Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for AFL Grand final and not use it?' The neighbour says 'Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first AFL Grand final we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967.' 'Oh .... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?' The man shakes his head 'No, they're all at the funeral.' |
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| a your guy says to his girlfirned lets play a game ..I have all these flavoured comdoms let me put some on and you guess what flavour ok ...the gilr dives under the table and yells out .... CHEESE AND OINION ...the guy says hey give me a chance to put one on ! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| What's black and rhymes with Eminem? Dr Dre. |
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| << "back in a flash" or is that a black dot indused flashback? >> Orange dot, grey dot, black dot - flash back ??? Yes occasionally. 70's were better than the 60's, I was then old enough ;) |
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| That's like the dyslexic, insomniac athiest - he'd stay up all night wondering if there really was a dog. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| dyslexic walks into a bra | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| A vampire bat arrives at the roost with his mouth and face all covered in blood. All the other bats get excited and ask where he had got it from. Follow me he says. And they fly over hills, fields, rivers and hills and into a dark forest. 'See that tree over there?' Yes they say.... 'Well i friggen didnt!' |
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| A MAN caught by police with his p.e.n.i.s submerged in a pasta sauce jar was still pleasuring himself while resisting arrest, a court has been told Police thought he might have a weapon because they saw him doing something with his hands in his lap the Herald said. Instead they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar a police statement said. They found a 750mm jar around his p.e.n.i.s and said Weatherley attempted to continue pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling. Could this be why they have warning labels on jars saying. "Warning, this product may contain nuts". LOL |
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| I heard this and laughed a little last night Akerm rolled his car (a mini) in the warm up lap of a Mini Challenge race at Symmons Plains in Launceston He did walk away uninjured. ok its not that funny but ya know!?!? |
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| "back in a flash" or is that a black dot indused flashback? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" Great years the 60's, only thing I have against those years is the bloody Vietnam War ... the rest, would have it back in a flash. |
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| My bad! Ok - in the 60's Barak Obama's balls hadn't dropped. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Tasmanians should not publicly discuss the genitals of their immediate family members. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The 60's hey - my dad's balls hadn't dropped in the 60's! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| That's gas man ... Flower power, hippie beads, incense, blue denim jeans and toasted muesli ... been there done that. Ah the 60's and 70's were to behold. |
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| like wow | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Far out man, you picked it ... cooool. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| So you were a hippy? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| No but I've done a Nun ... nice ! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| you drive a bus don't you? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ha ha, that was funny. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down Next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?" "No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the next stop. The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says: "I can tell you how to get to have sex with her." "Yeah?" says the hippie. "Yeah!" says the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that Luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery Claiming to be God." The hippie decides to give it a go, and arrives in the cemetery Dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night. "I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face. "Have sex with me." The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself To anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity. 'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish. "Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!" "Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!" |
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| You were'nt anywhere near Him were you My Dear? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot. |
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