By: mamabear9894
8/11/2006
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| My son is 6 years old and was sexually abused in my daycarers home 2 years ago by the daycarers teenage son.My son didn't disclose to me what had happened to him until 5 months after I had taken him out of care.I contacted the police and gave a statement and it took them 5 more months before they suspended the daycarers license.In that 5 months I had contacted them about 6 times and i contacted child protection trying to find out why the daycarer was still caring for children.The police wouldn't return my calls and child protection told me they don't do follow ups.My son finally did an interview with police in the december and when I found out the carer had lost her license,I thought finally they had listened to me,I was sickened and disgusted to find that the offender had abused another child and thats why the carer was shut down.In the last 2 years there has been an internal investigation into the police and 3 officers were severely reprimanded for not following procedure and child protection wrote and apologised to me for the delays causing another child to be at risk.My son did another interview at a different police dept and more mistakes and delays occurred,so I emailed 17 politicians and 1 of those took my story to parliament.In his speech he told the ministers that I deserved an apology,But from what I am led to believe I will not be getting it.The speech in parliament can be viewed on following link.....http://www.hansa rd.parliament.tas.gov.au/ isysquery/irl8868/2/doc It is at the bottom of the page under the time 7.18pm..Lara giddings said on the news tonight that the community also need to be involved,WHY Lara??when we are not listened to? |
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By: joemama763
9/11/2006
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I cried when I read your story. How pathetic that such serious allegations were not followed up, thus leading to another disgusting abuse on another child. What courage you must have, and we as parents should all fully support you to ensure this does not happen again. The majority of Family Day Care providers enter the field because of their honest concern and care for children. There are strict monitoring checks in place for licensing, so for this to happen with NO FOLLOW UP checks about the allegation, there is NO EXCUSE. Your courage to pursue, "even when faced with the frustrations of dealing with unhelpful bureaucracies and government departments" is to be applauded.
You deserve more then just a written apology for perservering after receiving continual ignorance for your pleas, you deserve a medal!!! Not just for the protection you offered your son, but for the protection you were trying to provide for other children. God bless you and your son, and my prayers are with you, |
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By: mamabear9894
9/11/2006
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| Hi joemama.thanks so much for your wonderful message,you had me in tears.it is very hard to accept praise though as I don't see I have done anything special,I think we all have hidden courage and fight when it comes to our children.My family and friends are certainly amazed by how determined i am not to give up.It doesn't look like I will get an apology,the minister of police is happy with the fact the first 3 officers were reprimanded and he is not willing to look into that complaint,there was another 8 months of delays after my son did his 2nd interview and the minister of police has written to me that he is satisfied that officer has been reprimanded as well,That is 4 police officers that the minister of police has admitted to not doing their job.I recieved a letter from 3 ministers when I started to complain about what had happened to my son and all the delays,apparently they think that is where it should end,but none of their letters said "We Are Sorry".apart from 1 I recieved from the head of child protection 2 years ago when the ombudsman investigated my first complaint.Im not sure what steps to take next but I won't give up.thanks again for your beautiful message and wonderful support.mamabear |
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By: reidsays
11/11/2006
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mammabear
have you tried making a blog to highlight the issue and have a place where concerned parents and citizens can connect? free with yahoo and others out there will have more info than me............website???? clues anyone???
i did a quick one without much experience, if u want to see as example refer http://au.360.yahoo.com/reidsays
not much assistance on this one so need others input.....
for you to see and consider>>>???? |
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By: joemama763
11/11/2006
12:38 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| And Mamabear, you can add what was said in Parliament, I had trouble finding the information through the connection you gave, but after a lot of searching did get to it, it was amazing reading, keep going girl, |
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By: mamabear9894
12/11/2006
8:31 am Yahoo! Profile:
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| Hi joemama and reidsays.Your suggestions are fantastic and I will start a blog on my yahoo 360.Ive never done anything like that before but as I have said I will try anything.when I get started I will let you both know and you can check it out if your happy with that and let me know what you think.There are so many days when I feel I should give up and tell myself to just move on,but just by recieving your messages gives me the motivation to keep going.i appreciate it so much.thanks |
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By: mamabear9894
12/11/2006
9:43 am Yahoo! Profile:
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| joemama and reidsays.I attempted a blog and put the sppech from parliament on it as well but that's as far as I got.if you have any ideas as to what I can use as a Blast I would appreciate it.Im not real good at this kind of thing.also Im not sure what the review section is for,maybe its too early in the morning to be designing my blog.lol..any suggestions would be appreciated.cheers mamabear |
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By: joemama763
12/11/2006
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Hi Mamabear, I actually live in Queensland, and I was wondering, as this is a Federal issue, if you could start your own topic in each of the other states, not just in the Tasmania message board? I am sure you would get a lot more responses from other states and maybe someone could give you some more help with setting up your own blog, (don't have any idea as to how to set up a blog, but you need to get your information out to the Community, to get mass support.)
hope this helps, and I hope to see something from you in at least our Queensland message boards to get some sort of dialogue and support for you.
have a great day, and keep smiling, other loving Mums are behind you, our children are and always will be our first concern,
Veronica |
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By: joemama763
12/11/2006
10:56 am Yahoo! Profile:
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| Hi Mamabear, I just put a message on the Queensland board about your situation, hope to get you some support from the Sunshine State, :-)) |
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By: mamabear9894
12/11/2006
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| Hi joemama.you will be sick of me saying thanks to you before long.I actually started a topic in the politics section.The heading is: How does 1 person take on the government.There wasn't a great deal of interest.A few people left comments but not many.I will try the other states though and see how I go.thanks for your messages,they mean a lot.regards mamabear |
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By: mamabear9894
15/11/2006
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| Hi.Thought I would fill you on an interesting conversation I had with a reporter today.I contacted our local newspaper early in the year about the mistakes and delays with my sons case,I was told by the reporter that to print my story names would have to be changed etc and then it wouldnt be a proper story.There is a major controversy over child protection flaws in tassie at the moment and lo behold I pick the paper up today and there is a story about a young 16 year old who has been a victim of abuse in state care,names were changed etc.I rang the reporter and asked her why her story was printed and what the difference was between her circumstances and mine and my sons.The reporter told me there was no difference.She gets hundreds of letters and emails and they are all similar.I wonder why?Why are there so many complaints but nothing is done to solve them? |
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By: mamabear9894
16/11/2006
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another media release on child protection in tasmania.
"Utter frustration at inaction by the State Government over the matter of child protection has led to industrial action being taken by a section of Children and Family Services (CFS) staff on the North West Coast.
It is understood that staff in the North West's CFS Assessment team, have ceased undertaking a number of duties including:
no response to phone calls with exceptions of Priority 1 and those on current case loads; no formal supervision; no monthly or ministerial reports; no reports from unallocated list; non attendance at meetings; no filling in of car log books; and no Smithton/West Coast trips.
The staff have told the State Government that the action will continue until the 5th of December or until they are able to meet with the Director of Children and Family Services.
Shadow Minister for Health and Human Services, Sue Napier, said that the Health Minister, Ms Giddings, must immediately involve herself in this situation and bring about an amicable s o l u t ion.
"Any industrial action by child protection workers, whether union-sanctioned or borne out of staff frustration, needs an urgent response by the Minister, especially considering the complexity of the problems within the sector," Mrs Napier said.
"There is no doubt that this desperate action is linked with the pathetic response by the Minister to five damning reports of the child protection system.
"The Minister must bring forward the planned meeting between the Director and these workers to this week.
"Failure to bring about a peace deal will only mean that further children at placed at risk and workers throughout the sector are placed under even more pressure." |
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By: bethanangel2000
16/11/2006
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mama bear i have had a similar experience with a neighbours teenage son and my 5 yr old son who has an intellectual disability (encephalitis at 15 weeks of age) and as soon as i knew i took him to the police and he acted out with a doll what the boy had done to him , so the police attended the home of this boy and took him into be questioned. all we got out of it was a 2yr avo , and a caution to the lad which was registered on the court papers. the child investigation unit came up and they werent at all sure they could attack this kid with only a 5 yr olds testimony( him vs them stuff) and the dpp didnt think the magistrate would continue because of the ages. now 4 yrs later i still get a lot of sexualised behaviour .wanting to touch his brothers and play with them as well as playing in front of them . it has taken a whole lot of work to get him to stop doing this stuff.
the school have been great with him . his day care mum ( i was lucky ) was friend of mine and she was so protective anold him to scream when ever( squeal real loud tooo top of his lungs) if someone touched him or asked him to touch them . she was like a second mum to him .
all of this took bout 12 mths to finally get to court to only have the dpp back out and say they couldnt justify following this up on the child protection units information. i was devastated i felt lost i felt inadequate, but guess what , igot thru it and when my son smiles at me and gives me a hug i melt . he got me thru this he challenged me when i needed challenging he let me know it was ok to cry when i felt i had let him down , because he used to just say to me "but mum i love u ". and that made me even stronger to trun around and confront this boy in town with his mates. and i told them exactly what he did, and they tossed him over for it gave him a hiding ( i presume saw him next day black and blue)cont.. |
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By: bethanangel2000
16/11/2006
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i just wish i had done it the day i caught him . i wouldve killed him. then now 3yrs later i have seen him out late at night being real scum and picking on weaker people than him and i often see his name in the paper for different things but mainly for agg assault .
so maybe if the police had kicked him in the touche he may not have done any thing else.
my retribution is that this boy has no friends and is making a mess of his life due to making a mess of my son's life. karma has a wayu of coming round mamabear!
and one day these cops will face full retribution mama it may not seem fair now.... but down the track it will happen . as for parliament keep on there backs dont give up lobby yr local member and take all yr paper work with them . also contact papers and ask to talk to them . no way quicker to get them to react is use the newspapers. its hard course mama and any time buzz me on this yahoo name ok . cheers and hugs hun "strength prevails over weakness "never forget that . |
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By: mamabear9894
16/11/2006
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| thanks bethanangel.I will soldier on.I have contacted the paper but they won't run my story as they have to change names etc and they say its not a story when they do that,yet they had a story in the paper yesterday about a 16 year old that has had her life ruined by child protection and other government agencies,they changed names to print that story though.I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you,your son and your family.I can relate so well as to what you are going through.I honestly thought time heals but in this situation I don't think it ever will.. |
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By: bethanangel2000
16/11/2006
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never completely but as yr son will show u how to move on u have to be willing to learn from him ok ! it is tough its like u are letting down the side if u get n with it , but u arnt .
and as for the paper keep on them and if not them find another paper who will . ring the telegraph ring aca dont stop till u get the writing in ink out there so people know.
i had so many people say unbelievable" they always knew there was something strange bout him" as i had only moved in 6 mths before i didnt know any thing bout any of them , was just glad to have the boys laying with other kids for a change.... now i have probs with them being out of my sight if we are in the park . my life was turned up side down but my son ahs made me realise i couldnt keep going on and hating and being so full of revenge and still be a good mum . and any time u feel u need to stop and let someone else take responsibility ( like the kid who did it ) be ready to hand over the reigns mamabear. dont be frightened it will all come good slowly but surely .
if u feel yr purpose is to bring this boy to justice stick to the track dont change. but if u are doing this to ease yr feelings and try and help yr son , talk to yr boy and ask him what he wants done, then decide what is best for u two , not any one else.
when u give the ownership of this back to the boy in question u will feel a sense of relief.
i found my self driving past this boys house and i imagined him being in pain to the most excrutiating level then drove on . it helps to push yr self to the limit but remember there has to be something left of u to BE A MUM to yr son ! trust yr own instincts always and be as strong as u need to be or as weak as u need to be. but remember strength does prevail over weakness" it will keep u going . |
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By: mamabear9894
16/11/2006
9:49 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| your message is great bethananangel..I have contacted ACA,todat tonight,sunrise,sunday and tried 4 magazines but nobody will touch my story,makes you wonder how they select the stories they do publish.My son is only 6 and still isn't ready to talk,we have our little chats now and then but for now he just plods along.he does have outbursts and nightmares every now and then but they are slowly getting less and less..You can really only take 1 day at a time can't you.some days are good and some days are a nightmare.The hard part is keeping that smile on your face when the kids are around.but somehow I manage.I know this might sound unusual but i am kind of relieved in a way that it didn't get to court.I think for any child to have to go through that and relive all that would be horrific.I am after an apology more than anything from the government.they have addmitted on so many occassions that there police were in the wrong,child protection was in the wrong and the daycare is run by the education who also didn't have procedures in place when reports of abuse are made.No way will these ministers apologise though. |
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By: bethanangel2000
17/11/2006
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and sometime s mama u have to realise they may never do that , and then u have to decide how much more energy how much more time do u expend on waiting for any apology .
do me a favor sit and write a letter( no need to post it ) say every thing u wish to say to the boy in question. then write on for the police and the day care mum . say it all dont leave any of it out cry on it get angry whate ever................... whatever it takes to get a reaction from u real reaction ...... screw it up thro it against the wall rip it up then burn it and release yrself from the burden of yr emotions. and get back to the law side of this and if u have a real case and not getting any where find a good pro bono solicitor and go for the jugular...... dont go to court on principle hun u will get burnt . go to court on the case of law! take them on civilly if u must , but u do have to consider how yr son is handling it and will he understand the nature of it all . but get the info to a solicitor and get his advise go to the chamber magistrate make an appointment talk to him . go to yr community health centre talk to the child& family councellors get them all to write to yr solicitor it will all accumulate and then u can attack the papers again . but u do have to be careful of libel stuff.
but the thing i said bout writing and burning u can get back to me and let me know how u feel after wards. i have used it for many things and it is so relieving to let all the emotional stuff out . bye hun take care beth |
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By: reidsays
18/11/2006
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that media release you showed about 6 posts up SEEMS a good sign.
the frustration and burden those 'foot workers' endure must be horrendoud for them and perhaps this is a good start.
if all the actual child protection workers 'spit the dummy' as well as the dissatisfied, angry and disillusioned parents, then maybe just maybe, the situation HAS to be taken seriously and acted upon. |
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By: reidsays
18/11/2006
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bethangels advise on purging your emotions is good mamabear - everyone has a different way of doing it but vital for family relations.......and stability of mind and purpose........the write down and destroy, did it work for you?
if not think of what symbolic way will work for you..... |
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By: mamabear9894
18/11/2006
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| Hi beth and reidsays.hope your both well.I didn't reply to beths message straight away,I have re-read it lots and what you suggest beth sounds fantastic and I thought about it all day yesterday.I want to explain something to you and hope to god it makes sense to you.I had a son pass away when he was 12 weeks old,As you can imagine my life was a nightmare and people use to tell me to pack his things away after a few months as I needed to find closure and try to move on.I couldn't do it,I slowly got back on track and every now and then I could pack a teddy away,then some clothes were put away,then the cot,p r a m etc went.Bit by bit I managed.I think what is happening at the moment is very similar and I often compare the 2 griefs i have gone through.Beth.what you said yesterday is the best advice that any1 has given me since this tragedy occured,BUT.I need to make sure I have done everything I can before I am ready to move on.I can't find that closure yet.Im not saying I will drag this out forever,I may wake up tomorrow and say,ok mama,you have done everything,It is now time to move on,it may be next week.I am going to write my feelings down though like beth said and when I can move on Beths advice is the first thing I will be doing.You will see the bonfire on the news..Thanks to both of you.eternally grateful.XXX |
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By: reidsays
19/11/2006
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hi mamabear - i think bethangel meant that the 'paper burning' was not a finality on your fight.....but something to do NOW in order to cleanse your distracting, overwhelming 'emotional' state. if one is overflowing with the emotional state induced by such a tragedy one does not think as clearly and beth seemed to be saying you can do that now and be freer and more rational when dealing with the system.......bethangel will clear this up. that is my understanding
actually do you feel mamabear should have a private group meeting place for discussion on certain things???? this is ok to speak to the general public but do we want everything we say seen by whoever is looking.....i don't really know......lots of info may be relevant to someone in need themselves......just a ponder?????/ cheers mamabear and bethangel
did you try the drawings and pictures for your cub??/ |
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By: mamabear9894
19/11/2006
9:39 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| Hi reidsays.i recieved your mail,I havent replied as I have been knocked down with the flu and it's a bit hard finding a quiet time over weekend to talk when my teenage daughter hogs the computer.I have re-read beths message and you were right,I read it so many times over the weekend and still didn't get the relieving part.Now I have read it again(In Peace) and read your understanding of the message and now I understand.so thanks beth.its a great idea and I will certainly give it a shot.And sorry about the error in what your saying,I have been on auto-pilot since thursday.I hope all is well with everybody,I am hoping to hear back from the ombudsman tomorrow about my second complaint and another poster on the politics board gave me a lawyers contact details so I will email them as well.I am getting some great advice and even when Im not It is still great to recieve the messages of support.well I am off to beddy byes,had4 nights a restless sleep due to coughing so I am hoping tonight I go comatose and get a good sleep.chat again real soon.mamabear |
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By: libranaster
20/11/2006
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| The Tasmanian government is seriously flawed in every way so your story does not suprise me. There is something seriously wrong with our government bacause I have watched Tasmania turn into more and more of a wonderland for the immoral and law breakers. Something has to be done to stop this. At the moment the only advertisement we can give for people to come live here is 'if you want to be homeless and on the dole come to Tasmania'. It is so sad the way things are going here and very sad the way you and your son have been treated. It just goes to show the immorality starts with our government. |
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By: reidsays
20/11/2006
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rainbows from my place to your place mamabear
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