By: aspen4620
4/05/2009
1:44 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| Two Irish blondes were standing on a balcony on a clear night of a full moon.1 asks the other, I wonder if it is further to the Moon or Sydney? The 2nd blonde snorts in disgust at her stupid friend replying, oh you dumby,its gotta be the Moon, can you see Sydney from here? |
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By: aspen4620
4/05/2009
1:46 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| As a Kiwi taking an RTA driving test for my Australian license I was utterly incensed at the stupidity of the testing officer.He asked if I could make a U-turn. I replied, Mate, I can make its eyes pop! |
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By: aspen4620
4/05/2009
1:51 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Kiwis are the most fervent and ardent believers of there being -life out there. Yep, they are mad on little green men, UFO's,and extra terrestials. What else is the explanation for them singly or in groups slapping their thighs and chanting,
Come ET Come ET Come ET |
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By: zita.ford
4/05/2009
2:53 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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ST. ALBANS SECONDARY COLLEGE
MATHEMATICS EXAM
MATHEMATICS EXAM
NAME ......................... ...
GANG ......................... ...
Time allowed: 1 hour
1. If Mohamed lowers his WRX two inches front and back and puts on stolen 18-inch Auscar slotted wheels, how many inches has he lost from the stock suspension?
2. If Con needs 3 razors a day to stay clean shaved, how many razors will he need before he goes to the gym at 8.00pm?
3. If Mustaffa runs 10 km from the Police in Taylors Lakes to Ginnifer station then steals a car and drives another 5 km to Sunshine, how many kilometres has he travelled if he ends up hiding at Highpoint Shopping Centre?
4. Phan has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an "8 ball" to Hamil for $320.00 and 2 grams to Dak Hoang for $85.00 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
5. If Darren receives $200.00 per week disability allowance from Centrelink and works for his brother as a builder and receives a further $400.00 per week and then pays $10.00 per week for each of his 11 children for school, how much money does he have left to buy a smashed Tarago from the Braybrook Wreckers? |
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By: zita.ford
4/05/2009
2:54 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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6. If Soula needs 25ml of wax per day to get rid of her facial hair and Soula is only 19 years old, how many mls will her mother need if she is 47?
7. Mohamed has an AK-47 with 2 x 30 round clips. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
8. If Abdo runs a Doner Kebab shop in the Keilor Shopping Plaza and works as a Taxi driver on weekends and earns $1,200.00 per week, how much does Centrelink give him for his job search allowance?
9. If the St. Albans ethnic community is increasing at a rate of 3.5% per month, the overall population increasing at 2.1 % per month, at what rate are the Aussies leaving?
10. Quang is pimping for three girls. If the price is $75.00 for the trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so that Quang can pay for his $200 per day crack habit?
11. If Luigi drives his family and cousins all in one car from Albion to Brimbank park, how many round trips will he need to make if 40 of his relatives need a lift and he can put 12 people in his Valiant at any one given time?
12. If Mario's dad has his top 3 buttons of his shirt open and reveals 1 x golden cross and 2 other golden ornaments, and has approximately 17 sq cm of hair coming from his chest with an average length of 2 cm, what is the probability that the ornaments will be visible from:
a) 2 feet away .....%
b) 5 feet away .....%
c) 100 feet away .....%
END OF EXAM |
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By: zita.ford
4/05/2009
2:56 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| I used to live in Melb so i totally get this joke..... |
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By: aspen4620
11/05/2009
3:12 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| Did you hear about the Aboriginal man given a new boomerang and ended up in the psycho ward,? Yep, he went nuts trying to throw the old one away. |
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By: aspen4620
11/05/2009
3:19 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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The son of the Shah of Iran was called the 'Shan' He had epilepsy and one day while his bodyguard was away from his post the Shan had an attack and died. The bodyguard was called before the Shah who demanded
Where were you when the fit hit the Shan. |
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By: rsmith111333
7/11/2009
12:42 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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The teacher asked, " Can you give me a good example of how heat expands things and cold contracts them?"
"Well," one alert pupil answered, "the days are much longer in summer.'' |
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