By: patriotaus
4 days ago (Monday, 3:25 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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patriot,it's awful isn't it,my dad didn't have a special weapon,anything did but mainly his fists were the weapon of choice ,he used to beat my brother in the bath till the water was red,just because he could,I guess we all should be proud of ourselves for not turning out the same
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Have no probs with it, when we got it we deserved it. All four brothers turned out well and have never been in trouble with the law. I thank him for being firm but fair. |
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By: merlot_mistress
4 days ago (Monday, 3:25 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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nothing wrong with a smack on the hand or bottom. time outs work when kids are old enough to understand the principal behind it.
i know being grounded and having things of importance to me(teenage years) was more of a punishment than any slap |
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By: mrg_binns
4 days ago (Monday, 3:28 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| crazin, thats very open minded of you,believe me when I say that,as we grow up ourselves we see things differently ,Your mum probably has a very injured sad inner child inside who has never learnt how to parent her own children as that lesson in life was stolen from her by the very person who should have been her Hero as well as yours :( |
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By: mrg_binns
4 days ago (Monday, 3:31 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| Sorry patriot ,no child deserves to have a weapon ( belt ) used on them for anything,that is not firm but fair,that is child brutality :( |
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By: merlot_mistress
4 days ago (Monday, 3:35 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| wasthe metal end of the belt used or just the leather |
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By: merlot_mistress
4 days ago (Monday, 3:35 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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he used to beat my brother in the bath till the water was red
that's shocking!!!!.... horrific!!! |
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By: nikznailz
4 days ago (Monday, 3:36 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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Tis always good to be here when there is good people around. Otherwise it does get a lot negative.
Hope you both have a fantastic week! :) |
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By: crazin_a
4 days ago (Monday, 3:37 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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Yes it is very sad, i only hope that as mum gets older she realises that children are a blessing.
As children they were expected to be seen and not heard, so naturally she raised her children the same.
My little brother is still at home and she still bosses him around. Sometimes i pick her up on it or mention that perhaps she needs to rethink her attitude towards him. At least (as far as i know) she doesnt hit him the way she used to hit us. (not beat, hit... there is difference) |
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By: mrg_binns
4 days ago (Monday, 3:41 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| yes nikz.these kind of topics can end up in an argument or negative ,but when we can discuss this sort of awful thing in life both Honestly and Openly sometimes very positive things can come of it :))))) And I hope you have a wonderful week also my friend :) |
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By: mrg_binns
4 days ago (Monday, 3:45 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| crazin,it sounds like you are doing the best you can for both your mum and brother still living with her.some of these adults do end up with Post Traumatic Syndrome from their awful childhoods and go undiagnosed and therefore never get the real help they need through life ,I'm not saying your mum has it but she is fighting Demons by the sound of it ,lucky she has you to stand by her when she is been so difficult |
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By: nikznailz
4 days ago (Monday, 3:52 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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You amaze me, in the best way!
After all the negatives, you still can open up to the positives and move forward.My heart, its smiling.
Thank you all for putting a smile on my face today!
:) |
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By: mrg_binns
4 days ago (Monday, 3:57 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| nikz...I think we all here today put smiles on each others faces..we are all survivors of the horrors of our childhoods and we do so without making excuses for our parents violence or kid ourselves that it hasn't affected us as adults as that would be unhealthy ,off course it has but we move forward with all the Grace and Kindness to others and ourselves that we can muster..CAPRE DIEM ..My friends xoxoxoxoxo |
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By: verycontrary_mary
4 days ago (Monday, 4:41 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| I never realised how hard some here have had it growing up.To have to face that abuse is beyond imaginable. |
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By: weed612001
4 days ago (Monday, 5:01 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| So what happened to the perfect generation? What happened to all the poeple who were smacked growing up and loved it? The good old days were not so good after all!! And we have the cheek to insult and harass our young poeple. |
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By: verycontrary_mary
4 days ago (Monday, 5:36 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| You have to wonder the effect that all this abuse has had on these people long term.I can't imagine a parent inflicting such pain on their children. |
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By: andthemagicbegins
4 days ago (Monday, 5:39 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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My grandmother mostly raised me, and she was gentle. I recall her tapping me once, and even this broke my heart and reduced me to tears.
My father once gave me slap on the back of the legs, and *once*...and again, I was devastated.
My mother ..when she would smack me...with a horses whip and numerous rigid objects....hurt like hell, but I refused to let her know it. :)
Some kids need it I guess, and each to their own...but I prefer to ground my two...this and make them feel genuinely guilty about what they have done. I have smacked them both once or twice... but honestly couldnt tell you the last time I did . ... but was only a tap on the hand. :) |
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By: verycontrary_mary
4 days ago (Monday, 5:41 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| I don't think kids need it.Violence breeds violence and resentment. |
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By: johnny_mib_cash
4 days ago (Monday, 5:41 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| Words can hurt more,i remember... |
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By: neecue
4 days ago (Monday, 5:43 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| agree .. words cut deeper , hurt more ,,and do more damage |
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By: johnny_mib_cash
4 days ago (Monday, 5:44 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| I hate your Father!Your just like your Father! |
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By: neecue
4 days ago (Monday, 5:46 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| ouch johnny , that would have hurt badly |
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By: pinotnow
4 days ago (Monday, 5:53 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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I was handcuffed to the bedposts face down and then smacked on the bare bum with a belt.
Hubby likes to "discipline" me every now and then, hehe. |
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By: neecue
4 days ago (Monday, 5:55 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| gooooooooooo pinoooooooooo lol |
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By: andthemagicbegins
4 days ago (Monday, 5:56 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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Yeah well, each to their own Mary....
My grandmother on my fathers side used to say.."better they cry now than you later, when they're in a gutter somewhere sticking needles in their veins"... Thing is, I think you can be firm without the brutality... just think some parents don't know how to,thats all..., this or have really difficult kids I guess.
I don't agree with child abuse, but if it's a controlled and mild slap to the hand ...like I tapped my daughters hand when she was 2.5, and said "No, bities" she was about to touch the outside of a combustion stove. But she didn't cry...just pulled her hand away, dropped her lower lip and moved away from the fire.
As for me, I personally cant find it within myself to smack my two... grounding is so much more effective anyway, and lasts longer :) ...
I don't condone abuse, when parents relieve themselves on their kids, and repeatedly smack them. Like my dads mum would say....never smack a child when your cross...and if you do....make it sting, because any more than one is one too many. She had this rule about smacking on the hand or on the backs of the legs with her hand, never an object. Personally, it's for shock value more than anything else... of which is pointless if this is the method of discipline you choose ..cos eventually, the shock value wears off anyway, and it just teaches them to solve their probs with violence.
Like I said, it's not my choice, but I wont condemn those who have... purely because each child is different. |
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By: andthemagicbegins
4 days ago (Monday, 5:57 pm) Yahoo! Profile:
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| In the bedroom....when a couple are playing, this is different. Much much different :) |
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