 LOST: Evil In Our Wake |
By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
11/07/2007
11:56 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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I've been writing another story :). This time based on the hit show last, but with a twistt; What would happen to the island 16 years in the pass? Which of our losties would still be on the island, which new heroes would emmerge, and what is the threat on the island that the Losties must hunt down?
First Chapter ill put on soon. Lol. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
12/07/2007
12:16 am Yahoo! Profile:
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Chapter One: The Long Hunt
The young man looked around the jungle, warrilly.
He raised his rifle up casually and searched for his prey. "His not here" said the girl behind him, in a mocking sort of way. "We should head back..." The young man turned on the girl, starring at her, as if she had said something stupid, and dangerous.
"And if he is here, Kendra?" asked the young man, his eyes fixed on the Korean Girl, born to the island, like so many others. "If he is here, then we are all dead!" Kendra shook her head, her black her wooshing across the jungle wind.
"His barely older than me," she said defensively. "I know whats his done, but he can't really be that much of a-"
Walt brang his face right up close.
"You know what that... That monster... Did to your parents... Sun, Jin, they died because that thing hunted them down and killed them... Cant you understand he deserves to die?"
Suddenly, their was a loud crash. Walt turned to face the inner areas of the jungle, and lifted his rifle. Trees were falling down.
"Its him, isn't it," said Kendra, as she reached for a hunting knife on her belt. Walt raised a hand.
"Dont," he said.
"But-"
"I said dont." Walt started walking towards the noise. "Head back to the camp, get the twins to come."
"I want to fight," said Kendra, but already she turned back towards the coast.
"That thing can't we killed by a knife, it can't be killed by anything normal" Walt said. He looked up to see a whisp of black smoke fly into the air. "Only somone Special can kill this thing."
Walt ran now, his rifle pointed at the danger. It was maybe a mile away, perhaps two. If only he could get their in time...
For a longg time he had been on the hunt. Ever since the faitful night, 8 years ago. Walt rememberred, it had been the day after Christmas, and he had just turned 18 a few months before. BUt that was all in the past. A past he couldnt change.... |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
12/07/2007
12:29 am Yahoo! Profile:
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Walt managed to make the distance in 5 minutes. He was determined, the thing had evaded him for 8 long years... The hunt was always their, toying with him, attacking the camp, killing what he could. Always looking for a way to escape.
He saw it, him. he was tall for his age. He towerred over Walt, and his red hair shone like fire. In his hands, nothing but a hunters knife. The hunters knife, the one he had used to kill his very mother. Walt wonderred how someone so innocent, so pure, could raise something so evil...
It always suprised Walt when the thing tapped into its powers. Walt always thought he was one of the only ones. But this island wasnt what it appeared to be... Walt could hardly control his own, hardly summon them. But they were thier, and he could use them.
"Hello, Walt" said the thing. A twisted smile came over its face. Its clothes were ragged, its face bloody. It was as if he was seeing a vampire. But this was no vampire. No, this was much worse.
Walt fired his rifle, sending as many waves as he could at the creature. It leapt up, avoiding them. It was quick, different, special. It leapt hire than any normal man could. But Walt was also special.
Walt saw in his mind, a tree striking it. A tree falling, breaking his every bone, every organ, every part of that evil thing. The tree fell, as usual, but yet again, Arron exhibited his exstraoridany abilites. The tree stopped his mid airs, then, burst into flames.
The two of them drew their knives, as one, and began circling each other.
"Why'd you kill them" asked Walt, as he lunged at the thing, but found himself string mid air as it ducked behind a tree. "They were your family."
It struck, and Walt found a knife striking him in the shoulder.Walt let out a blood curdling scream, then kicked them thing to the ground. The knife came out, and blood spewed from the arm.
"Those people were not my family." The thing looked at him and it ran as fast as it would go. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
12/07/2007
12:29 am Yahoo! Profile:
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Any guess to what the thing is? Any guess to who the twins are?
Any critics hate the first chapter? |
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By: dildoozy
12/07/2007
9:53 am Yahoo! Profile:
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apparently the 'thing' is aaron, you even mentioned the name.
so far it's pretty darn good as well, but i do one question, will there be flashbacks to when people such as sun and jin died? |
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By: desmond_has_found_jesus
12/07/2007
12:23 pm |
Message deleted. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
12/07/2007
12:52 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Yes, thir will be flashbacks
And i wasnt supposed to mention Arrons name until chapter 3 :(
Lol that ruins a bit of the story... |
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By: jedi_baboon_not
12/07/2007
2:07 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Luke, you could have written this under a different name and I still would have know it was you...lol
I don't think it was a mistake mentioning Arrons name only once in the first chapter.If this has been made for lost fans it was a good ploy.
As for the twins.....Anything to do with Kate? |
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By: desmond_has_found_jesus
12/07/2007
3:04 pm |
Message deleted. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
12/07/2007
3:25 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Chpater 2: Brothers in All But Blood
Walt looked at the distant figure run into the distance. He so baddly wanted to chase it, to feel its blood run down his cheek. But he was wounded. To be honest, he was half suprised that it didnt kill him their and then. But then Arron had plans for him. Walt spat. Why did he call that monstrosity Arron? What was once Arron was long gone. Walt rememberred that he used to hold the baby, talk to it, laugh with it. But that was long ago...
*Flash Back*
"Is their any way we can make you change your mind," Sawyer asked. Even though Jacks people didnt want to be part of his idea, they still respected Sawyers word. Jack looked at his people behind him, and Sawyers behind Sawyer. Then he looked at the twins Sawyer held in his arm.
"No, theres nothing for me here," he said.
Walt was standing behind Sawyer. He had learned to respect him over the years, exspecially after the split up had occurred. Exspecially during the war...
Walt watched as Kate whisperred something in Jacks ears. Jack frowned. "Sawyer, is their any chance you could.." Sawyer laughed.
"No way, doc. The kids were born here, the kids will live here, the kids will die here. You dont like it, then go to hell. Kate should have thought about it beofre-"
"Their mine!" she yelled. Walt could see how desperate she was. He turned himself away to Watch little Arron play in the sand, Claire down on her stomache laughing with him. Through the laughter, Walt could see the tears... She didnt want them to leave, either.
Claire had been like a mother to him, ever since Michael had been killed in the war. Claire took him in, while all others had either died or refused to let him in. She was a kind person, a good person. And Arron was like a little brother he could talk to and play with. They wern't like Emma, or even Zak. They were his friends, but not like what Arron was to him. Arron was something different. |
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By: desmond_has_found_jesus
12/07/2007
3:27 pm |
Message deleted. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
12/07/2007
3:49 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Walt teared his gaze back to the leaving group. They all stood in front of the huge freighter. The one they had captured in the war. He couldn't believe how many people where thier. The island was home, it had been home for three years. The fought a war here, their family died here, and they were all going to leave.
Sayid, Jack, Kate, even Hurley were leaving. Steve, Neil, Lance, people he had fought side by side with, all leaving. ONly the loyal remained. All those with kids. For they could never leave. Not in this life...
The group stepped onto the friegter, and suddenly, the beach seemed so much smaller. Maybe 15, 16 of them left. Not enough to survive. Not enough to keep going...
The friegter took off into the distance, with Jin and Desmond both running out towards it waving their goodbyes, while their loved ones stayed holding the children. Sun and Penelope both just sat on the beach, tears in thier eyes, holding their children like they were the only things in the world that matterred. The boat dissapeared from view, and the camp ate their meal in peace.
Not one sound came from the sound that night, except for the cries of the children their parents had sacrificed freedom to protect.
*Flash Back Ended*
"Walt, get up! Were is he?" walt found himself held up by two, bulky figures. The twins. Both of them were hadsome, and both of them reminded him of their father. The one that had stayed on the island, the one who died for them. Sawyer.
Walt shook his head.
"His gone, his long gone now..." he said. He pushed the boys off him, although he found it hard to stand, let alone walk. "Let him go..." The boys looked towards the jungle.
"How about Wayne stays with you, Ill go after him."
Walt wanted to let him go, he really did. But he was needed at camp, and couldnt go and rescue anyone in his condition.
"No, Duckett, you just get your self home." Walt looked back into the jungle.
"My brother will be back, trust me." |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
12/07/2007
3:51 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Its a novel in progress, not a dream.
Anyideas of whats gonna happen next? Any constructive critism? |
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By: knucklesupper
12/07/2007
3:52 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| The Long Hunt..? could of chosen a better title, but OK |
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By: desmond_has_found_jesus
12/07/2007
3:53 pm |
Message deleted. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
13/07/2007
12:17 am Yahoo! Profile:
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Lol it will end after 23 chapters
And The Title is "Evil In Our Wake"
"The Long Hunt" is the Name of the First Chapter
"Brothers in all But Blood" is the name of the second
"The Good Guys" is the name of the third
"An Old Friend" is the name of the fourth
"See No Evil" is the name of the fifth
I still have 18 more chapters to reveal
And 21 More chapters to write up onto the site |
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By: jedi_baboon_not
13/07/2007
11:18 am Yahoo! Profile:
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A whole 23 chapters,thats alot of writing!
But can you keep it up or will you loose in it like "invaders". |
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By: jedi_baboon_not
13/07/2007
11:19 am Yahoo! Profile:
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| Sorry....interest |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
13/07/2007
1:17 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Actually, Invaders is still going. Ive never given up on that, its just that new projects have arised in which I have to do.
Ones a "Lord Of The Flies" type book where the world is taken by a virus that makes the adults turn into violent craving monsters. This included Jasmine, the main charecter whose ex-boyfriend, Karl, returns to her school to save them from their family. And thats only the first 5 chapters...
Another is this one. Walt finds the island is very differernt 16 years, the island has no forgivance to the men and women that crashed their 16 years ago. Walt goes on a quest to find the only thing that can kill the thing that lurks in the jungle. A thing called Arron.
Here is one you'll all remember. Invaders came out as a simple 20 Chapter book involving a boy named Fiery. It wasnt a biggy. Now, its expanded. I plan to write atleast 50 chapters for this major novel. So far i have written 106 standard novel pages (53 lines pieces of paper)and have added several twists, charecters, and secrets to the book. Theirs just one thing that you have to know. On Earth, nothing stays underground for long......
And so, I go to chapter three of this story, evil In our Wake. Thankyou. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
13/07/2007
1:45 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Chapter 3: The Good Guys
"Where home" yelled Walt as he limped in the caverns called home. Instantly, Des' got up and looked at Walts wound.
"What happenned?" asked Desmond as Walt was set down by the fire. Kendra ran over to him, to.
"Did you get him?" she asked. Walt shook his head, biting down on his lip. it wasnt his first wound that came from Arron, and neither would it be the last.
"Get my medical kit" Desmond said to Duckett. Duckett nooded, then, after a glance at Walt, ran off further into the caves.
"Pen, water." Penolope looked up from the fire. She was obviously deep in thought. "Now!"
"You gotta tell me what happenned brother..." said Desmond as Duckett deliverred the medical kit into his outreached palms.
"Knife wound..." he said between gasps. "Nailed me in the thigh..."
Desmond took a worried look at the wound. "I can fix it," he said. "I wish-" he began, but shunned the thought away. It was unheard of the speak of them, the past was the past.
The next few minutes Desmond simply washed the wound and bandaged it up.
"Best I can do brother," said Des as he stepped back. "Just get some sleep, and Ill have another look when you wake up."
"No" said Walt. "We have to go after him now. I saw him, Im not gonna just-"
"Let me go' said a voice. "Ill go after him." Walt looked up to see Zak, wielding a heavy gun that he probably didn't even know how to fire.
"Your not a fighter, Zak," said Walt with a sigh.
"And My sister is?" said Zak loatingly. Walt took a long look at Zak. Sure, he would be more comfortable lettin Emma go. But Emma was out in the Pearl. And he was here. Desmond was the doctor, they needed him. The twins were needed, Sawyer would turn in his grave if they got killed................... ................
To be continued |
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By: matty_matster_matt
13/07/2007
3:09 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| my stories are better than yours |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
13/07/2007
4:32 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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Lol thanks for the encouragement :)
Notice that your probably 15, and I happen to be 12. Ha! |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
13/07/2007
4:34 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| And ive read your "The Force" and that was just a cheap cut off of heroes. LOL. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
13/07/2007
4:41 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| And i would like to take this oppotunity to call you a *** . Ive been on these forums longer than you so shut it. |
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By: i_am_a_jedi_not_a_baboon4
13/07/2007
4:44 pm Yahoo! Profile:
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| Lol you can just say "Im Better than You"Waht the hell? |
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