 Re:ATLANTIS |
|
<< Previous page | 1 | Next page >> |
By: lucasmaricekeatinge
8/07/2008
11:00 am Yahoo! Profile:
lucasmaricekeatinge Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
| I am currently writing a story about Atlantis and there is going to be three parts and I have already started the first part so i will start posting it here. Please tell me what you think or give me some advice to make it better. |
|
By: lucasmaricekeatinge
8/07/2008
11:01 am Yahoo! Profile:
lucasmaricekeatinge Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
Atlantis
-Chapter 1-
Island of Zeus, Atlantis City
14,000 BC
The giant stone statue towered over them like a god. It was finished. After five years of building, the statue was finally complete. The group of people stood together in a line beside the statue, their hands tied together with thick, white rope. They all wore dark, dirty rags; it seemed they had been wearing them for years. They stood there, silently, anxiously, as a group of nine figures emerged from a path leading into the surrounding forest. The figures all wore dark brown clothing, however the man leading them wore light white clothing. The figure in white was much taller than the others, about twelve meters in height, the size of a giant. Each one of them had their faces covered with hoods. The leading figure stopped about a meter away from the statue and so did the figures behind him, simultaneously. The white clothed figure examined the stone statue, admiring the detail and effort which had been put into it.
It was quite an exquisite setting; a magnificent stone statue, surrounded by naturally green trees, flowers blossomed next to it, the beautifully blue ocean in the far. The only noise that filled the air was the rhythmic sound of the ocean waves washing up onto the sand covered beaches, miles away.
The white clothed figure raised its hands and removed its hood, revealing its face. The figure had a tough, weathered, olive skinned face with long, curly green hair and a matching beard. At twelve meters tall, the man looked nothing less than frightening and powerful. The man was identical to the two hundred foot statue standing before him. It was Zeus, the king of all the gods which populated Atlantis. Zeus turned to the eight men behind him, who had now also removed their hoods. They were atlanteans, the native species of Atlantis. The atlanteans had light blue skin with dark, black hair. These Atlanteans were very muscular and seemed well trained in combat and in their duties, they ... |
|
By: lucasmaricekeatinge
8/07/2008
11:01 am Yahoo! Profile:
lucasmaricekeatinge Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
| each carried sharp, silver blades in their left hands. The figures standing beside the statue, each tied together with rope and wore rags, were completely human. There were six of them in total, three men and three women. They had originated from the European countries including Greece and Spain and had relocated to the Eastern islands of Atlantis. The reason they had been forced to build a giant stone statue every day for the last five years was simply because they were prisoners – criminals. They had been imprisoned for crimes including theft and abuse, some of them had been imprisoned for crimes as petty as lying and speaking disrespectfully. |
|
By: lostoholic_fan
8/07/2008
1:13 pm Yahoo! Profile:
lostoholic_fan Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
OoOoOoOoOo
cool, excellent!
Keep going please I want the next part! |
|
By: lucasmaricekeatinge
8/07/2008
1:23 pm Yahoo! Profile:
lucasmaricekeatinge Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
The Atlantean king Zeus gave his men an approving nod and they responded immediately. The atlanteans moved over to the humans standing beside the statue in front of the tree line. The atlanteans gave the humans an intimidating stare. The people were frightened, they had seen before what these particular atlanteans were capable of. There had originally been nine humans forced to build the statue of Zeus, the extra three had gotten fed up and had stood up to the atlanteans, which had been a big mistake. The atlanteans had killed them where they stood, like animals. In Atlantis, criminals were despised by everyone, anywhere and the Atlantean guards have the authority to kill them if they wished.
The atlanteans raised their blades as one and swiftly cut through the rope which bounded the humans together. The humans gave a sigh of relief. |
|
By: lucasmaricekeatinge
8/07/2008
1:24 pm Yahoo! Profile:
lucasmaricekeatinge Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
‘You are free to go.’ Zeus boomed in fluent, Atlantean tongue. His deep voice startled the humans and even the guards. The humans couldn’t believe what they had just heard. The very thought of leaving and going back to civilization frightened them after five years of imprisonment. They had adapted to this lifestyle and the people they were forced to work with but nevertheless, they left willingly. The guards escorted them through the forest path. Zeus looked up at the giant statue and smiled. This was the fourth statue which had been built to commemorate him in his honour. There were three statues on several different islands off the coast of Atlantis and there was also a larger one – double the size of the others – in Benswalern, the capital city of Atlantis. Zeus turned and followed the guards through the forest.
thats all I have so far. Im currently working on it. |
|
By: micro_lost
13/07/2008
10:39 pm Yahoo! Profile:
micro_lost Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
| time for more? |
|
By: punzie13
24/12/2008
1:38 pm Yahoo! Profile:
punzie13 Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
| and more |
|
By: micro_lost
13/10/2009
11:09 am Yahoo! Profile:
micro_lost Did this message offend you?
Sign in to report abuse |
Reply to this message |
| sleep once more...... |
|
|
<< Previous page | 1 | Next page >> |
|
Select a station below:
Punk
Rock Now
R & B
|
