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| An emo is someone who keeps their feelings inside... If we are taunted we dont fight back, we believe that spreading hate and anger of our own only brings pain to other people... Our misery annd hate will kill everyone. DSo we turn to black, we dress darkly and SOME may even self harm becasue all of our apin is locked iin side us to be kept to ourselves for ever. But i still beleive we should carry on, we are defiant. :'( | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You are just stupid. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ok I am sorry but this is what I say..first off dont call ur daughter emo..she probly gets enough of that from people at school..trust me I know I get called that and it makes me wanna do even worst stuff..and btw emo is not cutting(thats what I am guessing u mean by gouging her arms..emo is a form of music a way to express yourself..and maybe she just needs you to back off for a while..get her a councilor but dont try and make her tell you whats wrong...she wont do it..and u know u can call the cops and have them put her in a foster home..I am sorry but if she dont wanna live with u u cant alow her to live on the streets so u need to do something | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| to dassaultmirage5 Who made you judge and juror? I think if 'parent of emo' didn't care he wouldn't have written into this message board. To 'parent of emo' I think perhaps your daughter needs your love and a hug. Teenages are by nature rebellious but they still need to now they are loved. She may think you have no time for her with your new family. Maybe try spending quality time with just your girls and then also with your whole extended family to show them you all care. Hope things work out |
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| Finally I find that Im not the only one being drivin to insanity by a teen. My 14 yr old son has just lost the plot. Truancy, smoking, stealing, lying, big time attitude and tot op it off 40 mins after he went to bed he was gone. So i have locked up the house as tight as fort knox and now he will have to let me no he is there to get back in. And it has been snowing not far from here so you could imagine how cold it is. I want to always beleive him but he just keeps doing the most ridiculous things. I found POT in his pillow the other day when i was making his bed. 90% of the time i dont loose my temper at him and when i do I just go on and on then send him to his room before i go beserk. I so need help! |
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| Firstly, this is pathetic. You can't control your 16 year old daughter, so you ask strangers over the internet for advice, seriously?? what the hell? Now the way your daughter has turned out is completely yours and her fathers fault, you can still change that by being a proper parent and start disciplining your daughter. Give her boundaries and rules shes needs to learn that she cant get everything her way, not until she is 18 anyway, when she gets full time job, pays her own way for everything. Put your daughter first, your own flesh and blood, not some one elses. Might I add, i am 16 years old, and used to be just like your daughter until my mum started to actually be a real parent and take care of me. I'm very greatful for it. |
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| i agree with dassaultmirage5. my mother is like that and she kicked me out of house and home. and all i have now is my windex spray. i dont even have a computer to use. no wonder you daugther is an emo, emo parent, look how u treat ur kids. they probably feel unloved, and dislike you for it. let the kids be kids, after all, they are kids. humble genius, i hope your wedding goes well. |
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| Dassault, harsh, but true. You need to put your daughters first. How on earth can your new partner expect you to love and care for her kids, yet she wont extend the same to you and yours. You need to get some metal about yourself, and stand up for whats in the best interests of you and your children first. |
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| emo parent Your story if one the worse cases of bad parenting I've read on these boards. Your attitude towards your daughter and your partner's sons is shocking. If you have trouble sleeping, thats guilt setting in. Like all new female spouses with children from previous relationships, of course they're going to put their children first - and of course they want you to put more effort into THEIR children than your own. Its not a matter of whether both your daughters and your spouse's sons have a choice or not in where they live; its about which home is in the best interests of the children. If your ex spouse is having differculty with her teenage daughter; you're most certainly not helping the suituation either. Is blood thicker than water? Not in your case, obviously. Your own children come first and if your new spouse does'nt like it, she can always move away with her sons elsewhere. If she has no where else to go, there's always emergency housing and Centerlink will help her. Better still, YOU move out since you have no dependants. You have no bloody right to make house with another woman and her kids until you have cleaned up your own backyard! |
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| From where I stand it sounds like you have issues with your relationship with your partner that need resolving?? That would all be impacting on your relationship with your children. As far as troubled teens go, I watched my younger sister tear my parents to shreds doing all the things you mention. As an adult she took of 8 years ago and is still breaking their hearts. Set the rules, but draw the line while you're there. |
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| First, thank you to narre and loo for replying. One of the things I'm struggling with is that a far greater amount of my resources (time, money, space) are going into my partners children than into mine. Another factor is that my partner is putting alot of effort and asking me for alot of effort (normal parenting effort with 4 boys) to be put into her boys. I'm not comfortable with not putting anywhere near as much effort into my girls. Yet another factor is that I just can't get a decent nights sleep because I'm thinking about how I could be doing more for my girls. If something were to happen I know I would blame myself and I suspect I would (wrongly) blame my partner and her children. As for whether my partner did anything to my girls. My girls didn't like getting caught out doing things that I didn't see, just as her boys don't like me catching them out on things that my partner doesn't see. I believe the difference is that my girls had a choice of places to stay. If they didn't like it with me then they didn't (don't) visit. With her boys, if they didn't like my company it was too bad because they haven't had somewhere else to stay. Now their dad is starting to come back on the scene it wouldn't surprise me if one of them moves there before he turns 18. My daughter has said she would move in with me and would abide by the rules we would have in place. However words are different to actions. I guess what it get's down to is that it is really chewing me up that I can't give her a place to stay, even if it is her behaviour that has blown it for her at other places. She knows me and my rules. Also, seeing my other daughter once a week for a meal is just not enough for me. |
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| I agree with narre. When I was a teenager I was "left of centre" and my Mother and I did not speak for seven years. I know this is not the same with you but I'm just letting you know that she more than likely will straighten herself out eventually as I and many kids do. If you two still have a good relationship then at least she has something worthwhile to hang on to so she doesn't fall too far. Just loving her, offering a supportive shoulder, listening and giving your oppinion without too much judgement should help her IMMENSELY. I wish my mother had done that. Take care. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Daughters turning 16 is a big thing.. they seem to lose respect for everyone and everything.. they take no resposeability for anything and feel they are intitled to everything and that they can do as they please... Has your partner done anything to the girls or are they reacting because you have a partner????? You may have some influence over her because she does not live with you and you don't put down rules for her it may be different if she was to live with you full time.. as l assume you will have some boundries for her??? As far as moving out and leaving your partner that is a very big step to take... think carefully as it may blow up in your face have you asked your daughter if she wants to live with you??? Only you can decide this you must follow what you believe is right for YOU. Maybe you need to get your daughter some professional help to work threw her issuses. Remember if you walk out on your relationship there maybe no going back are you prepared to do that... children grow and move off and live there own lives partners are there hopefully till death do you part.. I wish yiou luck as you try to work out what is best for YOUR life at this point in time... |
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| As soon as my daughter turned 16 (7 months ago) her behaviour spiralled, big time. Her 14 yr old sister is fine. She has a total lack of respect for her mum who now has said she is no longer welcome onto her property. She has stolen from her mother, insulted her and damaged her property by breaking into her house. As for me, my two girls don't stay over or even visit me anymore because they dislike my fiance that much. My partner won't allow my 16 yr old to live with us because she has no respect for my partners belongings or those of her 4 boys. I seem to be the only one that has some sort of influence over her. She doesn't swear in front of me and has stopped gouging her arms, in what is often the emo way, when I asked her to stop. So with no real place to stay she moves from friend to friend or lives on the street. My questions are...is blood thicker than water? How can I help my daughter? Do I move into my own place so I can offer her a place to stay? As my partner put her children first, should I be doing the same by putting my children first and moving into a position where I can look after them better and see them more often? ps. As you could imagine, having four kids in the house is a real job, that they're not mine makes that much more difficult. |
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