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| Well-intentioned advice from family members and friends isn't always helpful because many people mistakenly believe that encopresis is a behavioral issue - a simple lack of self-control. Frustrated parents, grandparents, and caregivers may advocate various punishments and consequences for the soiling - which only leaves the child feeling even more alone, angry, depressed, or humiliated. Up to 20% of children with encopresis experience feelings of low self-esteem that require the intervention of a psychologist or counselor. If your child has encopresis, humiliating or punishing him or her will only make matters worse. Instead, talk to your child's doctor, who can help you and your child through this challenging but treatable problem. What Is Encopresis and What Causes It? Three to six times mor |
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| I don't know if this will help you much - we all COMPLETELY understand the frustration, our boy turns 10 next month but I felt a lot better after reading this article I found doing a google search. I hope you find the help and support you need as it does affect your relationship with your partner - how can it not? If you're the parent of a child who has bowel movements (BMs) in places other than the toilet, you know how frustrating it can be. Many parents assume that kids who soil their pants are simply misbehaving or that they're too lazy to use the bathroom when they have the urge to go. The truth is that many kids beyond the age of toilet teaching (generally older than 4 years) who frequently soil their underwear have a condition known as encopresis. They have a problem with their bowels that dulls the normal urge to go to the bathroom - and they can't control the accidents that typically follow. Although encopresis is estimated to affect 1% to 2% of children under the age of 10, problems with encopresis and constipation account for more than 25% of all visits to pediatric gastroenterologists (doctors who specialize in disorders of the stomach and intestines). Ninety percent of encopresis cases are due to functional constipation - that is, constipation that has no medical cause. The stool (or BM) is hard, dry, and difficult to pass when a person is constipated. Many kids "hold" their BMs to avoid the pain of constipation, which sets the stage for having a poop accident. Well-intentioned advice from family members and friends isn't always helpful because many people mistakenly believe that encopresis is a behavioral issue - a simple lack of self-control. Frustrated parents, grandparents, and caregivers may advocate various punishments and consequences for the soiling - which only leaves the child feeling even more alone, angry, depressed, or humiliated. Up to 20% of children with encopresis experience feelings of low self-esteem that require the inte ... |
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| hello I have not written for sometime I forgot my password I was dutchie 2free had to change it for new one,anyway tonight I totally lost it at my 6 year old now I am depressed and feeling helpless there is no end to this we tried doctors,pead doctors at hospital,anything but to no avail,my son refuses to even try,I understand that he does not get it, the connection is just not there,but I am at my wits end,the smell of poo tonight was everywhere and it was to much I snapped.Husband and I are now not talking and this is affecting every aspect of our family life,I need help and what I am looking for is a clinic or something in Queensland sunshine coast/brisbane where there is someone who specialises in this.I am beyond frustrated I don't know how to fix this he is in grade 2 and turning 7,and it terrifies me to think this could go on to teenage years.Any help with finding professionals in my location would be of help.P.S we are currently still using movical,benefibre. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| That's great! Thanks for the info on MOVICOL. I agree about needing to be completely empty in order to make any real progress. I think it's great that you can stay home and devote your time to cleaning out your child. If my daughter is impacted at all....she'll be going to the hospital. I attempted cleaning her out at home a year ago, and she REFUSED to drink the solution given to us my her Dr.to clean her out. She went to the hospital and it took 4 days with the help of the hospital staff....she's way too head strong for me to manage alone. I keep putting off having to do it again, but it might be necessary. Exercise is a key too. The reflexologist we went to also recommended daily stomach messages in order to re-stimulate the nerves. Hope all continues to go well for you. Sounds like you're definetely on a successful path. |
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| Since my last post we have made great progress!!! My 7yr old has been rushing to the loo at least once a day!!! yay! And the secret to our success? MOVICOL! But you have to empty them out before you start the daily dose or you will have leakage problems. We emptied out with 8 sachets of Movicol a day for about a week. (I can't stress this point enough) Movicol is available in Canada under the name of MACROGOL, more info at : http://www.drugdelivery.ca/s33769-s-MOVICOL.aspx You have to remember... these kids all have classic signs of denial. They don't want to know about the leak! Thats probably how their problems started (ignoring the feeling!) As corny as it sounds, we are having a great time with the star charts, it helps me more than anything to track how often he is going. As for leakage problems, we dont have any at the moment because he is relatively empty. While we were emptying with the movicol he was wearing pull ups as it can get really messy at times. Be prepared for lots of accidents if you decide to try the bowel evacuation, it will take about 2 weeks depending on the severity of the impaction. We stayed home for the entire two weeks! If your child is still leaking then chances are that the impaction is still there and the stool softener is just sneaking around the faecal impaction. I have found its also important to get the kids doing some abdominal excercises, my son couldn't do a sit up at 6!(and his Dr told me to stop comparing him to other kids!) But his new strength seems to be helpng also, as its been stated previously this is a wholistic problem and you can't just fix one aspect of it. I have also been keeping up with his multi vitamin and calcium tablets. But, having said all of that school started back today (after 6 weeks off) and you never know what setbacks we will have to endure... I will keep my fingers crossed though |
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| Goodness, I had no idea there were so many out there! I'm a mother of 9 kids - we have two boys with encopresis - one aged 11, the other is 6. Had I not had so many other kids who learnt to toilet properly, I probably would have thought myself a terrible failure for not teaching them right! We have all the same problems that you've all expressed - the denial, the washing of smelly jocks (up to 10 pairs a day sometimes). And then there is the blatant discrimination. Our 11 year old wasn't able to attend Grade 4 camp, he's in Grade 6 this year - I'm dreading the mention of the word "camp". I promised him in Grade 4 that he would be able to go in Grade 6 - I never imagined in my wildest dreams that he would still have this issue. We have been trying to get the boys into after school care program as my husband and I both work full time and study part time, but they have told us that they don't have the resources to manage the boys - even though the Government has provided extra funding to them to take them - the best we can get is 3 days. And then there is the ignorance and lack of understanding - every time we go to pick up our boys from school, or care, someone is there to tell us what a huge impossition our children are and look at us like we should apologise for the childs disability. Oh, not to mention the "handy" advice - "have you tried a star chart?" *eyeroll* It's nice to see you all here supporting each other - good luck to you all on your journey! |
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| Thank you to all the parents who have made this message board so helpful. We've been dealing with this with our youngest son who is now six. But thanks to this board, I think we're coming out of it. Having said that, I think our son was only bordering on the full blown encopresis that is so often described. There's no serious constipation involved here, the poops are soft and quite regular (in this respect I consider ourselves lucky). It's just that he preferred not to sit on the toilet. After three years of frustration, anger and the myriad of adult emotion that attaches to such a situation, I have let go (hard, hard, hard) and passed the responsibility over to him. One last talk - the poop belongs to you, it's your responsibility (see article previously referred to on this board, "Toilet Training Problems: Underachievers, refusers and stool holders" by B.D. Schmitt). The reward for action is paying off - literally. Yes, for us it takes coins, coins and more coins. I have tapped into to my son's want for having more than his brother and this has come in the form of money. Every poop in the toilet gets a coin, he can choose from whatever is sitting on my desk at home. Nobody else is allowed to touch the coins, they are his rewards. It's working. He's even started keeping a piece of paper to "account" for his earnings. Small accidents are still occuring but it is becoming less frequent than the successes as the weeks go by. For our situation, I am absolutely convinced it is all about power and resistence. Breaking down the power struggle was what helped us. I wish all the patience on earth to those battling through this. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I would love to know how the children really feel about this - we feel like our boy doesn't "care" whereas he MUST have some feelings on whats going on - I read an couple of postings from 2 kids on this thread and found that interesting. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Just thought I'd let you know that I took my daughter to a Reflexogoist. Very interesting. She said that my daughter's stomach muscles are very weak. She also indicated that my daughter's breathing is shallow and that the stomach muscles used to breathe are not being used. This is somehow connected to the nerves of the stomach leading to the intestine. I don't fully understand it all but it made sense when it was explained to me. She showed me how to massage my daughter's stomach to help restimulate the muscles/nerves. She also suggested that I take my daughter to a chiropracter. Through chiropracter they can determine the condition of the nerves to the intestine and with an adjustment it helps to restimulate the nerves if there's a problem. I'm sure it would take several treatments, but I figure I have absolutely nothing to lose. I'm beginning to realize,even more, how complicated encopresis is. The body is an amazing machine. When one thing isn't working, the other connecting parts don't work either. |
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| Good idea, "naring3303". There was a posting on this site back in Nov/07 from a young girl who was 12 yrs.(snoop848).that would benefit, I'm sure. I think if it's something your child would benefit from, set the site up with him so he has the opportunity to share his feelings. People from around the world read this site, surely our children are not alone...the same way we as parents are not alone. My daughter (7 yrs) is still learning to read and write. However, she definetely knows how to use the computer. From my perspective, she doesn't seem to care, but deep down I'm sure she has feelings about it all. She is getting older and as much as I hope to think the encopresis will disappear, it is likely it won't go away any time soon. She too attends a smaller school and as far as I know, none of her friends have this problem. I don't even know any other parents in my entire city (population 800,000) who are dealing with this problem (even though I know they're out there). Let us know if you set up a message board for kids. Thanks |
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| Many of us have commented on how wonderful this site is, to have this chance to unburden to those who truly understand. When we were in the "heaviest phase" of this disorder I would silently cry and then devour a whole block of chocolate in such disppear that I dint thik I could face another accident - or the fear of waiting for that phone call from school when you knew he was heading for a bad day. I am luckier now that his accidents are "smaller" in quantity and yes they are not as frequent - I remember the days of multi jock changes far too well. Becasue this site has been such as godsend, I was wondering what others, particular those of us who have lived with this problem for many years - think of a message board that our kids could use. There seems to be a few of us who have kids old enough to write thier own messages. I am suggesting a separate message board just for them to talk to each other. We have no attented "health camps" so my son has never been able to talk to another child who is like him. He goes to a fairly small school. If this site has been so theurapeudic for us to emotionally unburden, could it help some of our kids to do the same. What do you all think. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Well said "cowsinthemeadow". "We can't control it." I'm learning that the more I try to control my daughter's behaviors, the worse it all seems to get. I believe that it's my daughter's way of saying..."you can't control me". And she definetely is in charge of her own body. So the more I work on me and letting go, the encopresis improves. It is very hard to not to feel like a "bad" parent but I know that also doesn't help my daughter. If I blame myself, my daughter will start taking those feelings on as well and the end result is my daughter not feeling good about herself. I continue to work on consistency in implementing the strategies that will support her. Sometimes she resists and sometimes she doesn't. I schedule and attend the appointments with her Dr. and psychologist as much for me as for her. I have to believe that if we continue to go on a regular basis, something good has to come from seeking support from others. I feed her healthy food, but I also allow her to have not so healthy food. I encourage her to sit on the toilet regularly....sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't. The more I disengage from a power struggle with her, the more our relationship improves. Then there are times that when she's upset about not doing something I want her to do, I need to let her be upset and cry. She still has the encopresis, but I feel more hopeful than if I were to fight and argue with her. |
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| How wonderful it is to have found this...someone else out there who is experiencing the same gut wrenching frustrating and at times humiliating experiences. My son is 6 years old and refuses to even sit at the toilet for 5 minute intervals. This is apparently the first step. However, he has a high IQ and has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and as I discovered, this isn't a good combination when it comes to trying to help your child along the right path. It's frustrating and yes you think to yourself 'surely at this stage of his life I shouldn't still be cleaning up poop'. It's embarassing and humiliating because 'accidents' are never timed and you can be anyplace, anytime. People look at you like you have a horn growing out the side of you head. But hey, I'm not a magician! I can't magically fix this and neither can a paediatrician. Nor is it her job to fix this. This is something that just simply is, we can't control it. We can only stand by on the sidelines and coach, offer encouragement and support even when you just want to fall to the ground and howl. If I could get my son to sit on the toilet without him kicking, screaming, crying and yelling then I would have done it by now. I don't want to make this a negative experience though. His pain then translates to my pain. I love hearing the feel good stories of kids who have eventually gotten there but the reality is that doesn't help me, right here, right now when I feel I can no longer go on. I can't do another day, another minute, another poop, another dirty look because my child has emitted a foul odour that belongs in the toilet. This condition is not only a blow to the child involved but to the parent who often feels that he or she is a failure as a parent. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| We also use the bucket system, one thing he did learn at health camp was how to clean his undies, which means he sees and deals with the result of his accidents, but I still have to go in afterwards and give a final rinse and wipe down all "splattered" surfaces, he does so much in his pants that we can't put them straight into the washing machine after a soak in the bucket *sigh* - like you we have tried rewards etc to no avail. Recently, before I found all this information we took his xbox off him until he started to have "skid free undie" days, needless to say that hasn't worked. Finding this site and some other informative ones has helped us understand this problem more - we will also be printing out info we found on another site for his caregiver and other family members so that they will understand more as well. We had put it down to a lazy thing, and "how can you not know you've done it". | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I think its getting too late - I should have said totally UNaccetable | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| me again - just read that i said totally acceptable when I should have said totally acceptable | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| continued. Although not perfect this appraoch has greatly reduced the tension in our house and the number of hidden jocks. I know that some will criticise that we are using negative reinforcement. But our son seems to prefer that we not make a deal when he does "use the bucket". He knows that we dont blame or punish for an accident, but not dealing with an informed accident is totally acceptable and requires a consequence (ie loss of playstation time). We did use a lot of positive reinforcement when he was younger (stickers, treats etc) - but these dont seem to entice him anymore with avoiding accidents. We could even offer him a reward of a new playstation game for reaching a new milestone of no accident days - but it would not work. Which seems to support my contention that no matter how many times he might "tell us" he will "try" to control the accidents - it wont happen until he removes this "mind block" that encopresis kids seem to have. Lets hope that someone can gives us the key to this mind block as the professionals we have seen have often only provided bandaid solutions. Im sorry for writing so much but I hope this may be useful for others | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I so relate. My son is 10 also and after 6 years you begin to wonder if it will ever end - it is hard to understand how they can "not know" they have had an accident and if they suspect they have how they could even put up with it. As I have previously said - Now matter what we might do with diet, specialists,laxatives, sits - I still think we are truly never going to be rid of my sons Encopresis until "he" takes ownership of the problem. As parents we have taken the approach that you need to treat "having the accidents" differently to not dealing with the accident. As the experts confirm we should never scold/punish a child for an accident, particulary when you a dealing with a situation when the child says "they didnt know" or couldnt feel it"- even though it is hard to accept. However we do apply consequences if our son is aware of the possibility of an accident (smelly comments by those around him - family and/or friends) and does nothing about it. At home we have a nappy bucket in the laundry (with lid). When we suggest he may have had an accident we expect him to check and then deal with it. This means he needs to get changed and put poohie jocks with water and soaker in the bucket. If he has more than one accident he adds them to the bucket. If he does this he know that there are no negative comment as we "accept" - that he may not have noticed the accident happening. However we will not accept a lack of responsibility to deal with the accident once he is aware of it. Sometimes we are lucky enough for him to discover/admit an accident before any of us has realise - which could be when he is getting ready for bed or getting changed for sport. He can then take the initiative to use the bucket without having to draw attention. Before I go to bed I will check the bucket and as things have already soaked I put it stright into the washing machine. The next day I can add the prewashed jocks to the normal wash. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You're right, all kids are different and I did a google search on Encopresis and have looked at a few sights, the advice they give on some of them is rather hard to follow and other advice that we've tried just doesn't work. I just hope and prey that it doesn't last much longer - whats going to happen to him if this continues at college age? This already affects what we can and can't do socially or as a family. one link I found interesting though http://www.kidshealth.com/parent/emotions/behavior /encopresis.html Sorry but I don't know how to make it into a tiny url. |
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| Oooooh, I can so relate. There have been many days where my daughter has soiled 3 pr of panties as well. If it's not too bad I do clean them. And like your step-son, my daughter doesn't seem to be bothered by any of the soiling. And the feeling doesn't seem to bother her. The angrier I get, the less she seems to care. The key for me is to continually work on not reacting and getting mad at her, and allow her to deal with it. Not so easy to do all the time. She's had a few accidents at school and her teacher even says she doesn't seem to be bothered by it at all. Unless she is told to go change, she doesn't. I worry constantly that she's going to learn the hard way. If simply telling her that she needs to change herself worked, she would do it, as I have told her over and over and over again. The difficult part of this for me, is that it's slightly different for all us going through this. As we share our stories, although we can relate, there's no clear cut answers as each child is different, as are we. |
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| oh and I wish we could budget for undies and not worry about soaking them and scrubbing them etc but he goes through at least 3 pairs a day!!! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Both me and his dad have got to breaking point at different times and have lost our temper with him, it seems like he just doesn't care - I can't understand why he doesn't manage the problem - we've told him repeatedly that he has to go to the toilet at school and check his undies etc but he just doesn't seem to care, he has been bullied at school too which I expect is due to being "the stinky kid" - his after school care giver says she can see he has pooh in his undies when he's walking back to her house - you wonder how long this can go on for, at 10 you would think he'd be embarrassed of it. Luckily he has never had an issue when we tell him to go clean himself up. Like the others, we get him to seat on the toilet in the morning and night after his 2 showers a day. I just can't understand how he doesn't know he's done it - yes we understand he has a physical problem but it should be manageable by now and to be honest, I'm sure half of it is psychological now. After reading a lot of the comments on here, it seems that kids who have this just eventually "snap out of it" but in the meantime its good to hear other stories that we can relate to. He goes over to visit his mum during school holidays and he seems to do a lot better when he's over there so it makes you wonder whether he's doing it for attention or something. |
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| Yes, it is helpful just to know that we are not alone. Dealing with the "poohie undies" is definetly a challenge! I often just throw the undies out instead of cleaning, depending on how bad the soiling is. I have just made up my mind that buying new ones regularly is part of the budget. And in terms of going out, we just pack extra clothes and panties. If we run out, we go home. My daughter is 7, almost 8 and she wears a swim diaper when she goes swimming. She wears shorts over top so no one even knows. She doesn't like them, but she also knows that the alternative is to not go swimming. I keep telling myself that other than her encopresis, she is very healthy and doesn't have any other major disease. I just take one day at a time! Some days I feel hopeful that she will out grow it and others days I cry and feel less hopeful. |
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| God this has been very helpful!!! My 10 year old stepson has this condition and we've been pulling our hair out - it has been ongoing since he was 2 but it seems to have gotten worse - we've tried health camps with no results, change in diet and no change. What I would like to no is how do you deal with the poohie undies all the time, cleaning them gets to us more than anything I think! His problem does stop us from doing things we would like to do also like camping or going out for long periods of time unless we pack "supplies". |
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| Thanks everyone for your support. I'm from Canada so I think the medication is different here. My daughter is on both Lactulose (stool softener) and Senokot (laxative). When my daughter soils, I'm sometimes not sure if it's because she's blocked or if I've given her too much stool softener. I could be giving her too much because I want her bowel to be empty in order to retrain it. The tricky part though is, when I start cutting back too much with the stool softener, she seems to build up stool very quickly as her stomach becomes distended. Even when her bowel is empty she doesn't go to the toilet on her own to have a stool. Unless she's at home with no clothes on. Once your son is cleaned out, does he feel on his own that he has to have a stool on the toilet in the afternoon? Will he go to the toilet on his own so that he doesn't have an accident? Does he respond to the feeling of having to stool? or do you have to tell him to go to the toilet? For anyone that's interested, I found a good article on the web. It's called "Integrative Approaches to Childhood Constipation & Encopresis" by Timothy P. Culbert, M.D., Gerald A. Banez, PhD. Speaks about a variety of treatments. I appreciate everyone sharing as it is a big support. Thanks. |
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