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| Thanks for your feedback. It does help to hear your perspective as you can give a voice to my daughter's behavior. I have been dealing with my daughter's encopresis now for 4 years...she will be 8 yr in May. I have come to learn and know that encopresis is a physiological, psychological, behavioral issue (and yes, a habit). It's difficult for me as a parent to "keep positive and strong" on a consistent basis. It would be helpful if you can further explain what you mean when you say "parents could look at what the child really likes to do or places they really like to go etc and encourage them along to try and fix this problem so that the child is seeing and feeling real rewards." By for now |
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| Yeh, good question. Time, Tollerence and Lots of patience, also I feel that the parent needs to keep focus on the childs healing. The frustrations and inconveniences you are experiencing yourself pale into insignificance compared to what the child is feeling. Sorry to be harsh here, but looking back on my childhood I felt very scared, guilty and alone. I was craving love and understanding. I also needed to know (Which never happened) that it was ok to make mistakes along the way and to be reassured of any progress etc. Some parents maybe thinking that this is an intentional attention seeking mechanism by the child. Absolute Rubbish. Although maybe not intended by the parents, the child may be feeling that they are being punished for pooing in there pants etc. if they are to clean it up themselves. I certainly did and this added to the resentment towards my mother. I think the soiling etc also becomes a habit. It's easier for the child to keep on doing it than to fix it. I firmly believe that parents need to look at the phsychology involved here as well as the medical. Probably what "healed" me was the decision by me to fix it. I realised that pooing in my pants was stopping me from doing so many things and going to places etc. basically enjoying life. When these other things became more important then it was a no brainer. Maybe a very basic way to describe it, but I think the parents (only a positive suggestion) could look at what the child really likes to do or places they really like to go etc and encourage them along to try and fix this problem so that the child is seeing and feeling real rewards. I felt punished as a child, that I wasn't allowed to play cricket, because we had to wear a white uniform. Hello, brown stains in white uniform. Please, please, please remove any punishment sentiments. I hope this helps, please keep positive and strong. I will try to post things on here as they come to mind. |
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| Thanks for your posting. Knowing what you know now and the frustration your mother went through, what suggestions do you have to parents who are cleaning up their child's dirty underpants? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I am not sure where to start, but here goes. I am a 40 year old Male that suffered Encopresis through my childhood. I have only just learnt of the medical term for this and just fallen across this message board. I want to try to express what I went through in an attempt to help without offending anyone. I was the 3rd child of 4 in the family and the only one in the family to suffer this. Looking back, I believe that the biggest contributor for me was an extreme fear of the pain when having a concious bowel movement. By that I mean, actually sitting there on the toilet and letting my bowels open and expel the poo. I could not do this, even if I wanted to. I don't remember having fissures as a child, but I suspect that this was a possibility. Fear of pain was (and still is) overwhelming. Whenever I got the urge to go, I would sit on my heel and try to stop it. The poo would of course leek out into my undies etc. Same as the kids in your stories here. Treatment doesn't seem to have changed much. My mother put me on various laxitives etc. Yes these cleaned me out temporarily, but painfully. So this in turn made me extremely fearful of this to the point where I would not take them anymore. I to had to clean up my own mess. No big deal. The fear was bigger. At the age of 12 I was admitted to hospital and had enemas. My resentment to my mother was elevated then to a point where I was totally defiant against any of her attempts to help me. The condition continued until I was 17. My teenage years were horific. Why did it stop? I don't really have an answer, but I do have more to say. I have run out of room in this post now, but please respond and I will try to answer any questions etc. |
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| I feel I am at my wit's end....I have two boys, a four and half year old and a three year old, my four year old has been soiling himself regularly for the last year and a half and my three year old (who was diagnosed with Hirsprungs Disease and had surgery to remove part of his intestines last September) is now doing the same thing. So now I have two lots of cleaning up to do, which feels like it's at least four times a day (twice each, sometimes more) We have tried everything with our four year old, star charts, sweets, lucky dips etc which seem to fix it for a short while and then he reverts straight back to pooing his pants. The hardest thing is that we live in the middle east and the british school he goes to will not tolerate soiling and he is on the verge of getting kicked out of school. He is a very bright boy and also very stubbon. He had an x-ray taken last week which showed he has constipation (which I would not have thought given the amount he poo's!) so we have changed his diet but he is still doing it. He is particularly bad when he is very busy doing something like playing on the computer, watching TV or just playing in general. He does not seem to mind having the poo in his pants and he say's that it does not smell so no one knows it's there (of course it stinks and everyone does!!) He also doesn't mind cleaning it up at all which really upsets me. My three year old, who granted has been through a horrible time with having the operation for hirsprungs last year seemed to be starting off so well with toilet training and we thought we were so lucky with him but now he has started soiling his pants at least twice a day and has to be reminded to got to the toilet for even just wee's, whereas before he was taking himself off quite happily. We are trying to be so tolerant and not loose our cool with all of this but it is getting so hard I really feel like a complete failure as a parent. Please any advice would be so helpful. |
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| My son who is nearly six has just started going through this, he is heading off to surgery at the end of the month as we have found out he has a fissure or polyps that are causing pain when he poos so he is resisting going to the loo and having accidents. I am hoping for us that this is a short lived thing and only connected to this painful medical problem he has. He was having an accident once to twice a week over the last month however now it is 2 - 3 times a day. He isnt constipated whatsoever and has a huge amount of bright red bleeding with a bowel motion which is freaky. I hope this surgery will make it better for him | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| hi i have always had constipation problems with my three year old but recenlty he started doing the sneaky poos, went to doctor, he advised his bowel was extremly full and for us to use microlax enemas and then glycprep and parachoc to clear him out. on going to the chemist they advised not to use glycoprep and just use the enema and the parachoc, he emptied his bowels last night, now i am not quite sure where and what to do, doctor said start on 20 mls of parachoc per day, and change his diet, the chemist said to use parachoc for awhile but to try metamucil powder instead and see how that goes, its really hard as he has just started pre kindy. anyone with any suggestion please reply thanks | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hi threelittlerascels (my first post) I have a suggestion. Your problem with your son sounds very similar too ours. Our son is now 6-1/2 and although the encopresis is still a problem, I feel we may be getting on top of things. We use Movicol which is a common medication that is mentioned on this site. It is apparently quite a natural laxative and works the best for us. Our boy seems very sensitive to just about everything else we have tried. He either feels ill and/or vomits. Obviously, you need to clean out his impacted stool before you can work on improving anything. Movicol worked for us in this reguard. I think we used two sachets a day for three days. This resulted in a huge runny and messy motion but did the trick. This method was suggested by the specialist. Now, our system works by giving him a teaspoon only of Movicol every morning with his breakfast drink and then half a sachet starting Thursday and over the weekend. If we are lucky, he'll have a proper bowel motion on a Monday or Tuesday. It seems to me, the teaspoon amounts everyday keep his stool soft but not runny. The half sachets of Movicol seem to get his stool really moving and because it is not so impacted, it comes out naturally. This is only my theory and it works spasmodically. But it is the most success we have had thus far. I hope these suggestions help. Good luck with whatever you try. |
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| That's great!! The biggest reason encopresis is so complicated to deal with is because there is a different remedy for each child. We are all going through the same thing, but what works for one child doesn't work for the next. Senokot works well for my daughter and yet over counter stuff used for colonoscopies makes her sick to her stomach and she litterly throws it up...hence it doesn't clean her out at all. Yet senokot doesn't work for your son and over the counter stuff works great. My daughter continues to see a Chiropracter and we've had more success in the past 3 weeks than we have the 3 years previous relying on the medical system. I do agree with you on one thing, we really haven't had much help at all from the medical Dr. I appreciate this message board and hearing from all of you. I continue to need more support than my daughter does to deal with this. She's doing well but there are still days that I just need to vent and know that I'm not alone. |
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| I too have an update, my son (7yr old) has been taking a half a movicol sachet every day for just over a month now and we have had great success, with no accidents and consistently going to the toilet at least twice a day. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Thought I'd give an update in regards to the Chiropractor appointment. My daughter had a second appointment a week ago and since then has had only one accident. She has again, gone 6 days in a row with having no accidents and has had 1-2 bowel movements each day. (Sometimes I need to prompt her to go to the toilet, but other times she has gone on her own). I don't believe it's completely fixed altogether, but having an adjustment made to her back has definetely made a difference. I continue to take one day at a time. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Getting cleaned out was traumatic for my daughter. She ended up being in the hospital for 4 days. I do think it is very difficult to get ahead if the child is constipated but a second cleanout for my daughter has been our last option. She continues to stay on her daily stool softeners and laxitives in hopes that it will keep the stool moving. Six days ago my daughter had a chiropratic appointment. She hasn't soiled since. Coinicidence?? Can't know for sure, however, my daugher has NEVER gone that many days in a row in her entire life (she's almost 8) without soiling. The Chiropractor said that she had no reflexes on her left side and that some of the nerves from the spine to the body weren't being stimulated, so he did an adjustment to her back. Six days later and she has had no soiling AND she has had a bowel movement everyday except one. For the first time that I can remember she has had some feeling to go to the toilet on her own. Needless to say, she scheduled for a second appointment tomorrow. |
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| HI, I have posted before. I have a question. My son age 4-1/2 has been diagnosed with encopresis. He is impacted really bad and had been for 4wks that we have known about now. Since that first x-ray. we had another one 1wk ago and it was still a large amount of stool in there. His ped keeps putting him on 3tsp of miralax and then x-ray on and on. How long should i let this go without him just getting cleaned out. I know that would not be fun but how long before we should push to have him cleaned out? He has been on mirlalax 8mo at 1 tsp and then 3tsp for the last 4wks dr said call again in another week. he is sitting alittle bit the last few days for stickers but doesn't go in the potty. thanks Rebekah |
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| I'm so glad others have read this post and hopefully some of you will really look into this. It has been such a life saver for us. Make sure that you go to the doctor who does the colon cleanse and not that over the counter stuff. It's not that expensive at all. Its really worth a try. Please keep me up dated with your daughter as I wish you and your family the best. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| We have the same issue with our 9 year old who lies about going when he clearly hasn't which is even more frustrating - we do everything we can but at the end of the day, he's old enough to know this is his to manage and that we can't do this for him. He wears panty liners in his pants which reduces the mess and also the smell. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| My son is 11 years old and we have been dealing with this since he was about 6. He's on 1/2 capful of miralax a day and we're trying to control his diet but he really isn't helping me much. He admits he's afraid to go to the bathroom.... he had a terrible accident at a neighbor's home (in the middle of super bowl party) yesterday and thank GOD I knocked on the bathroom door and checked on him. I went in and what a mess he had made, you have no idea. He was standing there not knowing what to do. I had to get him cleaned up, her bathroom cleaned up, and somehow get the toilet unclogged (thank you God)... then walk out smiling telling 25 people nothing was wrong. When will this ever end ??????? On top of it he lies and says he's going, but clearly he isn't.. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Oh, I can so relate! Like others have said, you are not alone. I live on the other side of the world from you and am going through the same thing. We're everywhere...parents and children. There are resources and support out there, keep looking and you will find! Keep us posted. |
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| Hang in there guineverehall, so many of us have been and may well still be where you are. It will get better - unfortunetly there is no magic answer as to how long this will take and yes it could take years. It is very much two steps forward and one step back. You will have days when you think it cant get any worse - and it does. There will be other days where you will get the glimmer of hope that perhaps you have turned the corner - only to be faced with a relaspe. There will be loads of advice from well meaning family and friends but they do not realise the extent of encopresis and how it can take hold of your child. Those of us who use this page ( and i so wish I had this in our worst phase five years ago) really do understand what you are going through - so take some comfort that you are not alone. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hey sweetie! You are not alone..I started this topic some months ago and I am continually surprised at how many kids suffer from this! I too am in Perth and got a referral to the the paed gastro and he was NOO help...I took it upon myself to see a child psychologist by the name of Michelle Smith and she helped us no end..We are on parachoc and Laxettes and with the help of Michelle we have come leaps and bounds..You are not a bad parent, you just have an extremely strong willed child, and that isnt necessarily a bad thing!! Chin up and just know there are others going through the same thing as you..Your not alone! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I have just sat here crying my eyes out. I have just spent the last year with my daughter who will not wee or poo. Dpctors are useless, family gives completely unrealistic advise and I have been feeling this is all my fault even though I have toilet trained two other children successfully. My husband and I are at loggerheads over this and it is destroying my marriage. I have no idea hwere to turn. I live in Perth and got the referal to the paed gastro who isn't taking anymore appointments. She is on Colxyol but she hasn't been in 2 weeks, we get 1 wee per day. I feel like running away |
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| Thanks for your posting, "soonenough8". I'm going to look into seeing what I can do more naturally and holistically to give my daugher a "colon cleanse" rather than relying so much on the medical system. In the past 2 weeks I've been looking at other natural/holistic solutions. I took my daughter to a reflexologist. She said that my daughter's stomach muscles are very weak and recommended daily stomach messages. She also recommended a chiroprater so I took my daughter to a chiro. He said that my daughter definetely has some misalinement in her back and has no relexes on her left side and the nerves in her lowerback are not being stimulated to the body. There was a posting back a few weeks that was inquiring about a chiropracter, so I thought I'd share my experience. We plan to take my daughter for another appointment. For so long I assumed that my daugher was just failing to use the toilet and holding her stool intentionally. I'm learning that this is much more a physical problem than I had originally thought, therefore, I feel much less frustration toward my daughter. The more emphathy I have for her, the less resistant she is to the whole process of recovery. I still encourage the toilet sits regularly, and there are few power struggles. I can talk to her more calmly and she will listen and eat more vegetables and drink more water. My daugher is very layed back and still doesn't show too much concern when she has an accident and at this point it hasn't seemed to affect her social life. She has lots of friends and is a great kid at school. I have taken a leave of absence from my job (outside the home) to give more time to both my children and that has helped all my relationships (particularly with my husband). I feel a lot less stressed and can handle the encopresis more effectively. |
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| I had this problem with my son for a long time and did not know what was going on. I thought that he just had a problem wiping himself correctly. Anyway I had gotten to the point where we had tried everything!!! So I decided to look online one day to see if there was something I was missing. I was so relieved when I found out what was really wrong with him. We take him to a specialist and he confirms what we thought encopresis. He gives us something for him to take and enemas for him. We tried the drinks he would throw it up. My son was 9 years old by the way. So he says give it to him enemas rectal. This was not happening either we tried. Oh and the fiber I guess stuff and changing of the diet. I thought things were never gonna change. He said the next step would be to put him to sleep and s *** e out what was stuck in him or they could do another procedure. He was honest and said both things would be hard on him. My husband at the time was going to get his colon cleansed. I'm not into all that so I never paid it any attention. My husband suggested that we take my son. Yeah right I said that won't work!! I mean the doc would have suggested that right? Well my husband said lets give it a try. I thought my son would be terrified. He was not he was all for doing anything that might help him. He went the next week and the cleansing doctor said he did have a lot of bowel pass. They just really filled him with water and herbs. Every day I would check his clothes. The smell was gone and his underwear were stain free!! I could not believe it!! The improvement came immediately. I was amazed he had on more appointment for a cleanse like a month later. That was 2 years ago. We have never had that problem since. I am writing because I know how hard it is first hand and just wanted to share my story and give people an option to look into. I hope this help at least one family see that there is light at the end of this tunnel. Any questions please let me know. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| a therapist either. Dealing with this at home has certainly taken alot of the stress out of his life (and mine). Nothing can stop a parent from feeling guilty when you explain this problem to anyone... especially a Dr who automatically assumes you have damaged your child by not toilet training properly! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I have found that my 7yr old son NEVER has accidents when his bowel is not compacted (I know that sounds obvious) but, if all of these kids are still having problems with soiling maybe its because they haven't emptied out entirely. If you dont do a complete evacuation before you try a new treatment nothing will work. And you are setting yourselves and your kiddies up for failure again. And you might miss something that really works on an empty bowel. We have finally found success with one sachet of movicol every night before bed, before trying this we had tried other stool softeners and an array of laxatives but to no avail. We embarked on a new treatment after every evacuation. If you try something that doesn't work move on to the next treatment after an evacuation. We found that things like Durolax and Senakot dont work even on an empty bowel. And Parachoc doesnt either. My son doesn't mind the Movicol if you mask the flavour with juice and cordial (mixed together is super sweet but it does the trick). Another good and quick evacuant is the prep used for colonoscopies, you can buy that over the counter and in Australia it is called Picoprep. Follow the instructions, you need to have heaps of water with it. And you may need to double the dosage depending on the severity of the compaction. To tell you the truth, aside from telling us about Movicol our Paedeatrician wasn't much help at all. He sent us to a gastro specialist at Westmead Childrens Hospital and my son (the darling child) ran to the toilet while we were waiting (for 2 hrs)in the waiting room, and emptied his bowel!!!! By the time we got to see the Dr he proclaimed there was absoloutly nothing wrong with my child (because a giant BM was blocking their plumbing) and sent us home!!! We had waited over 2 months for that appointment. lol, so anyway we have been going it alone ever since. And as most people here will agree that this isn't a pshych issue then I dont see the need for him to see |
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| Awww crumbs, the messageboard isn't letting me post it all but do a google search and you will find some great websites, I'm sure you probably already have but this particular article really helped us understand, as the Drs etc never really explained things to us. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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