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| nothing to him. He also offered me to refer to a high risk pregnancy specialist. But I knew that even he was not going to tell me anything different. So we have decided to kkep a close check for infections and cervical changes after first trimester is over. We are planning to try again soon. I had lost mine on feb 12th of this year. Although we are going to closely monitor my next pregnancy and also go to a high risk pregnancy specialist to get a second opionion. But I am so afraid. I don't want my next pregnancy to be an experiment just to establish the evidence that I actually do have incomptent cervix, although I am praying that i don;t have one. I would have been easier to know if I had one, then I could have gotten a preventive cerclage. What I currently have is conflicting diagnosis from three different doctors. I know it has been long. But it's relieving to share. Normally it seems that noone seems to care to know. My husband has two kids from his previous marriage. If I fail next time as well because I did need a cerclage and was not given one, he is never going to agree to try ever again. It is all so frustrating. Good luck to you all! We all deserve to have a healthy baby in arms soon!Amen! Reema |
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| Then she said that now it was inevitable for me to loose the baby. The process of labor was already progressing. It was now when she had put some kind of pill inside my vagina to hasten the process of labor. The labor pains were so bad that they had to give me codeine in IV to make it easier for me. After a few hours of labor the baby finally came out. He was a little boy who looked just like his daddy. The doctor told me that it was not incompetent cervix as in that case the cervix painlessly dilates. But I somehow caught some infection and the cervix dilated as a result of the infection. And then I went to visit my family in India a couple of months ago. There I went to see the best doctor in the city. She deals with high risk pregnancy patients. She checked for the cervix length and told that she thinks that my cervix length is short and thats why I have an incompetent cervix. She asked me to come back immediately after my periods end to do some testing. When I went back to the doctor the day my periods ended, her assistant doctor inserted something called hagen or hager dilators inside me, and they could go in there upto 7mm. She said that the cervix opening shouldn't be so wide. According to them I clearly had an Incompetent cervix. Next day I went to some other doctor, she did a manual examination and came up with the same conclusion--short cervix. They both advised to me to have a cerclage and bed rest during the next pregnancy. Now back here in US. I changed my OBG doctor. This new doc seems really nice and apparently he ha done a lot of research on all this for me. And according to him and also I have seen on the website that he suggested me to go to (www.pubmed.gov) you can't find the cervix length for a non-pregnant woman. He tells me that he can't put me a cerclage without any evidence that I have an incomptent cervix. He told me that he could do some kind of test to measure the cervical length for my own satisfaction. But medically it would mean |
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| It sure was there. While there I felt that I had some thing run out from inside me. I thought it was blood. But when I went into the bathroom, I found nothng on my pad. Now I know that thats when I had starting leaking water. This nurse was nice and she adviced me to go to the hospital in case my spotting gets any worse. I was barely able to make it back to my home ( only 10 minutes away ). I had just entered my home, when I felt more water leaking. I knew right then that things were not progressing in thr right direction. I had already been having periodic bachache. The pain was coming and going every 5-10 minutes. I rushed to the emergency. I had to wait there for more than hour, could have been two. My husband joined me there after his work. The doctor who saw me first told me that it could have been just pee, many women in pregnancy just happen to pee. But when he checked that was not the case, it really was the water. He told me that I had come with a little fever and infection. He told me that my cervix was open--didn't tell me how much. He called in my OBG doctor and she came over to the hospital in like 10 minutes. She looked at my cervix and told me that it was closed. They had immeditely put me on IV antibiotics. But she told me that they won't be able to save the baby as the water had already broke. When the attached the contractions monitor to me, they found that I was already in labor. The backaches that I had been having for 1-2 days now were actually the labor pains. The doctor said that although I was going to loose the baby, she didn't want to induce the labor. She wanted the things to make their own way. Soon the infection was cured but by then the I was bleeding profusely and in about 2.5 days of hospital stay the contractions grew stronger and the bleeding got worse. On monday morning ( 9 days from when I had started spotting ), I was having quite strong contractions, lot of bleeding and the doctor told me that I was 4cm dilated. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hi Reema, yes they put me on atibiotics as soon as i got to the hospital and i was on iv and tablets medication. they also had me on medication to relax my uterus to try and prevent premature labour (that didn't work either) but no infection showed on any blood test or swabs. I had no pains intitally when my water broke but they put me on triple strength drip when I went to the labour ward (don't know if this was induction or for infection). Like you I doubt the competency of the doctor who replaced mine during his holiday and although my docotor won't confirm it, I suspect that if he hadn't been away, this situation would have ended very differently. |
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| Lauren, You went through a lot. It must have been extremely hard. Its amazing that how they were so slow in taking the adequate action. It seems that they gave the infection full chance to get inside you. Were you on any antibiotics while you were at the hospital for five days? I am not a doctor but I would think that if one is in a situtaion like you were in, antibiotics must be a "must" to prevent any infection. Did you have any pains when the water broke or did the induce the labor? In my case, I was fine until one saturday night (one day before I completed 18 weeks), when I noticed a little spotting. I went to the doctor on monday with a little spotting and the nurse checked the cervix and told me that it was tight (I really suspect her competence though). She just sent me back home and told me that it happens sometimes. She did no ultra sound. Then on wednesday when it had still not stopped, I went there again, and this time the doctor saw me (again I suspect her judgement as well). She checked the cervix and told me that it was closed. I asked her to test for bacterial vaginosis. Well, that came out negative. She called me in for ultrasound the same day. Thats when I found out that I was carrying a boy. The ultra sound technicial did the abdominal ultra sound and she could see no sourse of the bleeding/spotting. She took some pictures of the ultra sound and told me that she would forward them to the doctor. The next day I again called in for the doctor to find out if she had looked at the ultra sound pictures, turns out that she was on day off. I was now having bad bachache and it just got worse over next day or two. On friday, I went to see the doctor, i didn't know that on fridays they closed early. By now I was actually in labor and my water was already leaking, only I didn't know what was going on. There was only one nurse there at the doctor's office and she told me that she could tell me if my cervix was still closed but she checked the heart beat |
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| After seeing the ultrasound report, the docotr decided that it was too risky to try and do a stitch, so I had to lay in bed with my head down low and feet raised for 5 days then they did an ultrasound on the morning that my own doctor came back from holidays. My husabnd spoke to the doctor on the phone as soon as his office opened and without even seeing me he said that we need to do the stitch as without it we would have pretty much no chance of saving our baby. He came in to see us that night and said that my cervic had opened more since the last u/s and that he had already put in a surgery request as stitch was the only way to go. This was Monday night and I had the stitch Tuesday afternoon. The doctor said that it was more difficult than he had anticipated but it was in and if he hadn't done it, the baby would have been born within a week. On Thursday afternoon, my water broke and they said that I would have to deliver the baby naturally as a d&c would damage my cervix and make any future pregnancies more dangerous. They took me to the labour ward and the doctor cut the stitch. When he cut the stich he could see that I had an infection. He said that this happens because the mebrames poke through the cervix into the vagina, then get germs and when they push it back in, the germs caused infection, which brings on labour. Our son Michael was born after 4.5 hour labour and was perfectly formed. It was so hard to see him and hold him, he looked just like any other baby except that he wasn't breathing. That's my story, sorry it took so long to get out. I would be happy to chat and answer any other questions you might have. My email adress is laurenbyrne634@hotmail.co m if you would like to chat via e-mail. Take care and my thoughts are with you. Lauren |
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| Hi Lauren, Your message didn't come all through. But so far your experience sounds exactly like mine. I had spotting and a little bleeding at 7th week. But it went away and then spotting again at the end of the 18th week which progressed and I ended up loosing the baby at the beginning of the 19th week. I would like to know the rest of your experience if you don't mind and maybe we could learn something from each other's experience so that next we have a better insight of what to expect from these doctors. Reema |
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| that if we couldn't get an ultrasound there, to come to a nearby hospital which he was at and they would do one there. We arrived at our hospital and went to the ultrasound clinic but they said we would have to wait an hour so we went to the hospital that the docotor was at. When we got there we went to their emergency department and they took my blood pressure and temperature and a urine sample. They also listened to the baby's hearbeat which they said was strong. We discovered that the ultrasound service the doctor had told us about was only for "early" pregnancy and the cut off was at 16 weeks so they wouldn't see me. To get a normal ultrasound they said we would have to sit and wait for 7 hours until they could try to fit us in. They called the doctor and he spoke to my husband over the phone and said that because there seemed to be no reason for the bleed and all seemed ok to take me home to rest and see my doctor (who would be back from hoilday) in 10 days and then have my next ultrsaound in 3 weeks as had been pre booked as part of my antenatal care. We left the hospital and were both still very anxious so we called my sister and she called our local doctor who said to come in and he would refer us for an ultrasound. We saw him then went to a local u/sound clinic. They were really helpful and said if we sat and waited we could go in as soon as the room was empty. We waited around 45 minutes then went in for the scan. She looked at the baby and said it seemed ok but then showed us the baby's foot poking through my cervix. She told me to lay there and went and called my local doctor. He said to lay on the back seat of the car go to the local hospital, then they transferred me by ambulance to the hospital in the city I was booked into to have my baby at. They talked about doing a stitch as soon as I got into the city hospital but then decided it would be best to do some more testing so took some swabs and did an ultrasound the next morning. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hi Reema, As you said, learning to live with our loss is what we must do and that seems to be getting a little easier each day. I found out that I was 4 weeks pregnant on April 12th of this year and we were over the moon. We had been trying to get pregnant for around 8 months and had been starting to get worried as I suffer from polycystic ovarian syndrome and endometriosis. Life continued as normal until 6.5 weeks when I had some spotting. I went to the local hospital and they took some blood tests which were all ok. They also did an ultrasound but warned me that as it was still early, they may not have been able to detect a heartbeat. When they did the ultrasound, we saw our baby's heart beating away and they said it was very strong. The spotting continued for a few days and I saw my obstetrician the next week. Although the spotting had stopped by this stage, he gave me some progesterone and on we went. I had morning sickness and was tired but apart from that felt well. I had my 12 week ultrasound and they said the baby was developing well and everything seemed ok. I started to feel some movements at around 16 weeks and we were busy getting everything ready - we had almost everything ready and were very excited. At 17 weeks, I got up one morning and had a shower then started to get ready for work. I needed to go to the toilet so went but when I looked down, all I could see was blood. I called out to my husband and he dashed off to call our doctor to find out what we should do. We got the doctors pager service and discovered that he was on holidays so they had his locum call us back. He said not to worry too much (yeah right) and to try to get an ultrasound then he'd speak to us later. As it was 7.30 am and we live 45 minutes away from the hospital we had our ultrasound at, we decided that instead of waiting till they opened at 9.00 we would just go there and see if they would fit us in. When we were on our way, the docotor called again and said |
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| Hi Lauren, I am sorry for your loss. I can imagine what you must be going through. I know they say that things get easier with time--I guess we just learn to live with the loss. But it is always there, at the back of your mind. I am not sure if I will ever forget my baby. It is hard knowing that it affected noone else but you--forever! Everything is predetermined to happen in a certain way, we can only do our best and I am sure that we all did that. I will wish you best of luck next time and I hope it comes soon for you. I know next pregnancy will not be easy after a loss, it will be full of anxiety and uncertainty. But try to take one day at a time. This is what I am going to try to do. May I ask you the details of what happened with you, if you don't mind sharing--the sequence and timing of the events and how was it determined that you have an incompetent cervix. I am again very sorry for your loss and everybody else's including mine! Reema |
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| Hi Lauren, Thanks a lot for your reply. I have been talking to this new doctor and he tells me that there is no way you can check the correct cervical length in non-pregnannt state. He offered me to go see a high risk pregnancy specialist. But I thought that maybe I should go to him when I am pregnant again. My doctor has suggested to monitor the cervical length very closely next time for any changes. We will be doing ultra sounds starting from the end of the first trimester. He says that he is not sure if I need a cerclage because my previous reports just say that it was an infection, there is no mention of cervical shortening in that. So according to him there is no evidence that I have a short cervix. However, he doesn't want to discount the possibilty of me having a short cervix either. My previous doctor repeatedly told me that I didn't have short cervix. For one week when I was spotting, they checked me a few times manually to check if the cervix was open. But every time I was told that it was shut tight. They did an ultra sound as well, but it was an abdominal ultra sound. When I went to the emergency on friday evening after I felt that my water had broke, the doctor in the emergenct told me that my cervix was open. But later when my doc came to see me in the hospital, she checked the cervix she told me that it was closed. So I don't wich doctor to trust. But it took me about three days to deliver the baby after the water broke and that too with the help of medicine. Do you have any advice for me??? I will greatly appreciate any. Thanks. Reema |
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| Hi Reema, My thoughts are with you. I'm not sure what the medical system is like in US, but I am in Australia and here they use ultrasound to check cervical measurements. I also had infection in placenta which my specialist said was from cervix opening so membranes poke through and get germs then go back in and cause infection. My advice to you would be to ask to see the high risk specialist before you get pregnant and ask him/her about any testing available and discuss all your concerns about the cerclage. Lauren |
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| for him. I was in complete shock. I thought I was dreaming. The doctor told me she would have to break the water bag to continue my labor so I could deliver him. When she did that, that's when it hit me. I just cried and cried. How could it be happening to me? I didn't want to deliver my son knowing that he was going to die. I didn't want to see him when he was born because I thought it would be too hard for me. My mom convinced me to. I'm glad that I did because I knew I would regret it if I didn't. He was perfect. So tiny. All ten fingers and all ten toes. A cute face with a cute nose and lips. He was my angel sleeping so peacefully. The doctor said the cause of my preterm labor was due to me having an incompetent cervix. That would explain why I was spotting in the beginning. I felt so guilty because he was perfect but my body just couldn't hold him. I felt like I failed him. We had a beautiful memorial service for him. He had the most beautiful coffin. It was so peaceful. He deserved to have the best. We buried him next to my paternal grandfather. It was all just so unfair. All my hopes and dreams were shattered. How could God have taken my baby? But now I know-angels are hard to find, so he chose Jaden. My dad told me that Jaden was my angel that brought me home. I am still finding it hard to go on with my life. I have my good days and my bad days. I cry for him everyday. I just miss him so much. I miss feeling him move inside of me. He will always be my first born son and I will never forget him. I will love him forever and I can't wait until we are reunited again. I know he will be watching over me. For all parents who have suffered the loss of a child-whether an early miscarriage, stillborn or during infancy, some day the pain will ease. You will always love your baby and you will never forget him or her. Just know that you're not alone. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| He told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. So by him saying that made me feel that not only was he abandoning me but he was abandoning our child. I was devistated. Not because he didn't want me but because he didn't want our child. I didn't want my child to grow up without a father. But I promised my baby I would give him all the love that I could and give him a good upbringing like I did. I made the decision to leave my job, pack my things and move out of state with my parents. I knew I could have lots of peace and quiet and get lots of rest there. Before I left I had my 20 week check up as well as my ultrasound. I was so excited because I was going to find out if it was a boy or a girl. The technician told me that everything was looking great. I was so relieved. Then she told me I was having a boy! I was so overjoyed! I just knew he was a boy. That was another happy day in my life! Not even after all the stress his father had been causing could steal my sunshine. I was looking forward to having my son all to myself. I made my journey back home with my parents. I am so lucky to have such loving and supportive parents. They took me in and I knew this is where we belonged. Two days after I got here I began to have some abdominal cramping that would come and go. It was bearable and I just figured that it was my body stretching from my growing baby boy. It lasted awhile and then it went away. So I continued with the rest of my day. My mom and I even went to the movies. When I got home after the movie, the cramps began again only this time they were stronger. My mom and my sister took me to the ER. I was expecting them to check me out and tell me everything was going to be okay and send me on my way. Well that wasn't the case. When the doctor checked me she gave me this "I'm sorry" look. I knew the news was going to be bad. She told me that my cervix was completely dilated. Of course I already knew that he wouldn't survive because it was too soon ... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The day I found out I was pregnant was the most happiest day in my life! He was definitely a surprise but very much wanted and loved from day one. I was 4 weeks along when I found out. I immediately began to make sure I took extra special care of myself so that he would be grow to be healthy and strong. At 5 weeks I began to have some light spotting. I thought for sure I was going to lose him. I called my doctor and they said there wasn't much they could do since I was so early. They told me to keep an eye out for heavy bleeding, cramping and so on. If I experienced anything like that they said to go to the ER. I didn't experience any other symptom other than the light spotting. At 8 weeks I finally couldn't take it anymore and called my doctor to let her know that I was still spotting and I was very worried. So they scheduled an ultrasound. I was so scared because I was afraid they wouldn't be able to see a heartbeat. To my surprise there he was. A tiny little bean with a beating heart. Everything looked like it was going great. They weren't able to find a reason why I was spotting. So I felt so relieved that he was still alive inside of me. I just continued to take care of myself. After awhile the spotting stopped and everything was going well. The morning sickness was kicking in. It was rough to go through but it reassured me that I was still pregnant. His father and I unfortunately weren't able to work out our differences. He said he was happy we were going to have a baby but I honestly think that he wasn't. I tried to work things out with him for the sake of the baby. He was becoming verbally abusive and trying to control me. I was stronger than that. I refused to let him do that to me. After 3 months I had had enough. I didn't want to stay in the relationship because I knew it wouldn't be good for my baby. Jaden deserved better. I told him that if he didn't want to be apart of this child's life I wasn't going to force him to but I was going to do it by myself | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I am truely sorry for the losses of all of you. I too lost a baby in feb'07. He was 19 weeks. At the end of the 18 weeks, I just started spotting. Tdoctor could find no reason for spotting. In about six days, my water broke and I was having mild contractions. When I went to the hospital I was told that I had infetion. The spotting then turned to bleeding and after spending three nights in the hospital, it got only worse. They gave me antibiotics and apparently my infection was treated. When I was bleeding a lot and was about 4cm dilated and was in labor, the Dr. decided to induce the labor to hasten the process. I had to be given codeine to fight the pains I was having. After about 4-5 hours of labor, the baby came out. My doctor told me that I didn't have IC, it was just a rare event of infection. I went to India a couple of months ago. While there I decided to go and see another OBG. She checked my cervix and told me that I had a short cervix and its opening was wider than it should be. And she told me that next time I would need a cerclage. She told me that I got infection because of the short cervix. When I came back to US, I went to another OBG. HE told me that there is no way to check the cervix length in the non-pregnant state. And there is no evidence that I lost the baby to IC ( the autopsy report says that the placenta was infected ). He says that he can not put a cerclage on unless there is a substantial evidence that I have IC. I don't know what to make of all this. It is all so confusing. The dr. says that he would send me to a high risk pregnancy specialist and will monitor the cervix closely for any indication if a ceclage is required. I am just a nervous wreck. What if it is too late when they find that they needed a cerclage. Like you all, there hasn't been an hour in my life when I don't think about the baby I have lost. I just don't want to go through all that again. I don't know what to do. Reema |
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| Hi Lauren, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. Almost everyone on this site knows what you are going through, so yes, it helps. I lost my little boy Feb 6 of this year and the wound is still healing. If you would like to correspond via e-mail with me, my e-mail address is argonza-garo@sbcglobal.ne t. God bless and peace be with you. reina |
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| My condolences to you all on your losses and congratulations to those of you who have gone on to have subsequent successful pregnancies. Your posts have been helpful to read as I too lost my baby, Michael, at 19 weeks due to an incompetent cervix. This was just over three weeks ago and sometimes feels like it was just yesterday and other times like it was so long ago. Reading that others have gone through the same roller coaster of emotions has been comforting and it has also been helpful to see that at some point, things can start to get a little easier. People keep telling me that "life goes on" and "it will get easier in time" but until reading these posts I was doubtful that I was ever going to get out of this haze. Thanks to you all for giving me some hope, Lauren |
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| Hi kateland07 Its so sad about your babies. Please read my post to skl1174 a few seconds ago, I hope that this will help you. Perhaps some voluntary work may help you feel better as well as the nutrition & Kinesiology for the trauma. Peace |
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| Hi skl1174 Im very sorry about your loss. Hope that the following may be of help. You did your best, noone can be perfect, you must not punish yourself any longer, you are only human like everyone else! Plus theres no way you should get pregnant again before you feel happy again! Heres some ways to put you in the right frame of mind to conceive a well adjusted baby, otherwise a negative mindset may damage / scar him/her for life! Remember that babies can hear everything thats going on around you! Visit a Homeopath for a stress/trauma formula. Also visit a Kinesiologist for a few sessions as it can be dramatically more effective than a psychology. Also see a Chinese Herbalist for a physical herbal formula. All these natural therapies can work wonders in just a few short weeks. Olive leaf extract or Vita Klenz or Canda Plex will kill the yeast fungus. Sunshine helps to positively energise the mind & body, so get some everyday! Also vitamin C or Cayenne capsules can prevent bleeding. The other things to consider is diet- absolutely no yeast bread/beer, coffee, corn, canola, microwaved food, white flour/sugar/rice, 'omogenised milk, tap water, red cordial as it can bring on a miscarriage or chemical shampoo/deoderant/hair color/bleach etc Avoid being around anyone that smokes too. All the Best! You will be fine, after all, another beautiful perfect baby is waiting for you to be his happy beautiful Mother. |
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| hi all. im sory 4 ur losses. i too lost my son at 21 wks due to ic. it was most devastating 4 hubby and i. i was diagnosed with pcos and had bn ttc 4 3yrs. we also had a memorial 4 hm and namd hm as well. i went into labour with bleeding | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I lost my daughter more than 6 months ago, and I cant really tell if things are getting better or not for me. I do think that I am losing my mind sometimes. The events around losing her are the first things that I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. It's impossible to stop things going around in my head. I have been to a psychologist but that has not stopped me thinking how I should have (and could have so easily) done things differently - and I would still have my daughter, or at least know that i had done EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to save her. I'm afraid I'm bringing those close to me down, like my husband and my mum. I don't know if I will ever be able to live without thinking about this every second - I hope I will. We are trying to conceive again, and last month we tried really hard - and nothing. My period came yesterday. I am so bitterly disappointed when my period comes - it stirs up so many emotions and reminds me of the bleeding i had before my daughter was born. It kinda sucks to be a woman right now. |
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| I lost a son in 1977 and I thought I was losing my mind. I went on to have 2 healthy children. My advice is to talk, talk, talk to anyone who will listen. You did have a child, and it's OK to acknowledge him. It does get better with time. Your next pregnancy will be scary until you hold that newborn baby in your arms. God Bless and hang in there! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Dear Margarite This is the first time I have ever posted a message on a discussion board, and yet I spend hours reading messages from others to get encouragement. I did however have to respond to your posting. I AM SO VERY SORRY for your loss. I too have had 2 previous losses, the first at 16 weeks and the second one at 22w6days (with a cerclage). I am now 18 weeks with twins and my cervix has shortened to 1.2cm, and I am on strict bedrest at home. For whatever it is worth to you, please know that your story, even through your obvious pain, has given many of us reading, some hope. I dedicate my prayers tonight to you and your family. kuku |
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| I am so sorry for your losses, Kate. I too lost my baby boy earlier this year and though I am still sad, I am at peace with what has happened. I will include you in my prayers. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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