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| RE: (SHOULD YOU SETTLE FOR MR. GOOD ENOUGH?) I agree. This article seems to portray single women as desperate poor souls who should settle for whatever comes their way, because this their last chance for a relationship with anyone. Maybe we should just purchase a dog if we need companionship, at least a dog would have more qualities you would like since you picked him, than settling for Mr. Good Enough. Speak for yourself, it is not worth while settling for someone who is not meant for you. Wasting time with Mr. Wrong or settling for Mr.Good Enough means you have missed out on Mr. Right for you. There is no perfect man or women, but it is sad to think that love has come to anything you can get even if your not happy. I think this rubbish and it is sad she has put self worth down to unacceptable standards. Love yourself first and foremost and never settle just anything. No matter your age there is someone for everyone, a person who you will love and will love you back for who you are, not because your last thing left and just good enough to put with. It is better to be loved than be in a loveless relationship for the rest of your existence which would make me sadder than being alone. Remember some people are in relationships and they have never been so alone, than if they were by their self. As an individual who recently ended a relationship because I was not willing to settle for just Mr. Good Enough and I have no regrets because I would be sad to have settled for someone who was not right for me. I would rather be happy by myself than unhappy with someone just to have a companion. This is why we date and loving a person is important. All women are different and have different wants and needs, its sad you have put us all into one group insecure and worthless beings. I am glad we all do not have the same point of view. |
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| Reading this article (about settling for Mr Good Enough) was quite encouraging for me. I thought it made a lot of common sense in a society that is too bent on finding "the perfect relationship". I dont believe there is such a thing. I have been married to my partner for 20 years now and am now more in love than ever BUT it has been a long haul. My partner and I started dating when I was 17 and quickly decided to commit to each other. There were times when I wasnt sure that this person was right for me, but I believed in the good things about him, and he in me. Over the course of our relationship we have had to face the things that drive each of us crazy. I wish he were more affectionate and Im sure he would say it would be great if I were more organized etc.But you learn that relationship is about focusing on the good in the other and having loads of discussion about how you are going to deal with the bad as a couple. If I was to write out a profile of "the perfect man for me", then I would probably go for what makes me comfortable. But having challenge in a relationship has helped me to grow as a person. He absolutely makes my heart jump, but I didnt think the article was saying that you couldnt have that. YOu can still love a person and chose to settle. I had a friend who dated a guy who was a neat freak. She broke it off with him without giving the relationship a chance. I think that is the point of the article, whatever attracted you to that person in the first place may be just the foundation that you can build your love on. I still most admire my husbands gentleness, and that was the one reason I first started dating him. Im glad I "settled". |
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| "Should you Settle for Mr Good Enough?"... I guess it's a question that only an individual can answer themselves, depending on what that person needs in their lives at that particular time. Based on my own experience of having settled for someone I believed to be "good enough", I would advise others to hang out and wait for that truly special someone. I didn't realise that by settling I could become so unhappy ... which has led to my marriage ending after 15 years. Wait for the man you see as your Mr Right. And who is that man? Mr Right is the one who you can talk to, about anything - the one that you can be yourself completely with - the one who speaks their mind, even when it hurts - the one who when they smile at you, you melt - the one whose honesty and integrity is beyond reproach - the one, who when they touch you, makes you come alive. Don't settle girls - we only get one shot at life - so make it spectacular, and do it with someone special. You deserve it. |
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| I agree. I've grown up in the shadow of a very happy loving marriage, where we still catch our parents 'making out' or holding hands and supporting eachother. You shouldn't settle just to gain a 'teammate' - what rubbish. How could she be so cruel on love? It is ridiculous to suppose there is a 'perfect man' out there but to suppose that there isn't true love is terrible and obviously she has yet to find it. I think it is terrible advice to 'just settle' because she is talking from a 40 year old burnt out, exhausted cynical and lonely single mother's standpoint. It's not wrong to want to wait for someone who makes your heart beat a little faster or makes your heart stop when you can't locate him in a room. Love is what makes you feel worthwhile, its what makes everything colourful and enchanting. And it is real and tangible. Its what makes me smile when my man has surprised me by coming home early and it's what makes my heart ache when i feel the emptiness on his side of the bed and feel a chasm well up inside of me thinking of him somewhere other than my side. And whether you find love in your 20's, 30;'s or hell even your 80's or whether you find it at all, you would be happier to love for one day than to never have loved and to be in a tepid, loveless albeit 'supporting' marriage. |
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| Have just received my June Issue & am Gob smacked, to say the least, regarding Lori Gottlieb's article regarding Mr Good enough! I can only hope that it's a very late April Fools Joke, because if she is serious, I am truly distressed by her skewed view of the world. Yes, a perfect man does not exist---neither, for that matter, does a perfect woman. We are human beings after all & each of us magnificently flawed by our very nature. But to condemn yourself to a half life "settling" for just enough, that is catastrophic in spectacular proportions. I am appalled that she believes that she speaks for me, that I am supposed to be terrified of being on my own, that what I really, truly want in my life is a husband & that I could never be happy alone---which is precisely what I am, HAPPY on my own. That TV is the thing used to support the argument is incredulous. Rachel Green & Carrie Bradshaw are women of FICTION & not real life. I won't deem to speak for others, safe to say that when my Grandfather passed suddenly, many years ago, my Grandmother came into her own, not to say that she didn't love him, but that life opened up to her in ways that being married never did & she thrived!!! You know it can happen, being a single female can be a positive life to live. My advise---if you're not happy, look within, maybe what you need to change is you?... |
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| Hi Lisa, Our online editor just tried to email you with help - good luck! marie claire |
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| Hi i have received ,gleefully i might add, an invititation to AFW 2 may but i cannot access the area to reply pleaaaaaaaaaase help regards lisa | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Welcome to the new marie claire message board! This is the place to share your views on all things fashion, beauty, and the issues that really matter to you with other marie claire readers. Feel free to post a topic or ask a question. -marie claire |
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