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| Hi roadman, Thank you for your helpful reply. You've got me thinking - I think I will start appreciating the bond they may develop in the future. I didnt think of it in terms of their relationship because I was so focused on his welfare and how it affected me! so I appreciate your advice. btw, it's a lovely story about your son and his grandfather :) regards, jade |
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| Hi When our son was born, he was the first grandson and his grandfather came every day and night and all hours, beep the horn wake him up and so on, at times it was extremely frustrating, due to feed times sleep times etc,. Myself coming from a broken home with only one grandparent, I bit my lip and reminded myself that I should be so lucky that someone could love my child as much as I did. It can be difficult to be a new mum and establish a home for your child. My son has a very unique bond with his granfather now due to the constant devoted interaction and attention that he gave our son from day one, and I can honestly say it is a precious relationship and bond that I admire and wish I had as a child. I guess in answer to your question if you are worried about the sleepover, just allow her to come when she wants, she loves this child, how can this be a negative? Implementing restrictions and making alternate arrangements that you are not entirely comfortable with will only cause unneccessary bad blood between you all. The grandfather probably came every day solid for 18 months and after that the mutual bond they share is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I regularly felt that need to tell him to back off a little but felt it would break his heart and it was my son that would have missed out due to my feelings!! the visits gradually subsisded and sleepovers are normal now that he is older. Grandparents are precious so I hope this all works out with you! |
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| Hey Everybody, I have a very dominating mother-in-law who does not listen to the boundaries i set. Ever since I have had my child (a little boy who is now nearly nine months old), she thinks it is her right to be at my house WHENEVER she wants... and gets angry at me when i am not home, or have plans. I tell her very clearly, 'it is not acceptable for you to come over everyday without checking with us first.' my husband doesnt think it's a problem. so anyway, no matter how many times i tell her, she still drops in ALL THE TIME to see her first and only grandchild. If she had it her way, he would live with her. Anyway, in an effort to manage the situation, I agreed to let her have him on Friday night (to stay over) and all day Saturday, if she promises to give us space during the week. She seems to be accepting this arrangement but I am so anxious with him staying over without me and then me not se neing him all day Saturday. My mother-in-law is very good with him, but I worry he is too young at nine months to be staying away from me for that length of time. What do other people think? My friends think I am the luckiest person on earth, and I have to admit, if I wasnt so anxious about it, it would be a great break, but I dont know if I am doing the right thing. Also, it bothers me that it is not on my terms. My mother-in-law is so overpowering and if I am too rude to her, she becomes even worse to manage... in some ways it's best to appease her. thanks in advance for your feedback. xjade |
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