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| Going to sleep is a learned skill for a baby/child. So just like you teach your child to eat, walk, talk, you have to teach them how to go to bed and to sleep on there own. If there is a problem with the child like wanting to sleep in the parents bed, then this is something they have learned from the parents (I am not judging anyone). If you want to change or address any sleeping issues your child may have then you have to look at what you are doing or what you have taught the child. To change their sleeping habits you have to be very strong and stick to a set routine, 6pm dinner time, 6.45pm bathtime, 7pm then bed. Try playing a music CD, one with a relaxing mother heartbeat - these work really well. Keep telling your child before it each stage, okay its dinner time, now its bathtime and so on, so there is no surprises for the child. Try using a lavendar oil in the bath and or a candle burner in there room (burn before they go to bed and take out just before you put them to bed). Read a book, even if they scream and cry, read calmly, then cuddle and kiss goodnight, go back every 3 minutes till they fall asleep, this can take up to an hour even more. The idea is once the child gets use to the routine, they know what to expect, there's no surprises. It may take one week to a month, but you must stick with the routine and not break it, if they see you waiver, they will take advantage that's what kids do. But of course, if your child is sick then all routine goes out the window. I hope this helps. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| routine, choose a set routine and stick to it. It may take a week to a month, but once your child knows what going on he will adjust and accept that its bedtime and its time to sleep in his own bed. i know its difficult, especially when they are crying, but if you stick to it he will get use to it. ohh it sounds so easy when you read it, but its hard, but the more you stick with it, the quicker he will adjust. my little one could cry up to an hour sometimes with me constantly checking and comforting but now goes to sleep within 15 minutes no crying. try this website http://raisingchildren.net.au and good luck | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hi yes i know what its like to have a sick child at birth, my daughter is 2 1/2 now and we have been softer on her as she has been sick for so long but she is getting better now, but hey enough is enough you need to draw the line somewhere & put your foot down & trust me i know its easier to just let them sleep in your bed. some ideas that have worked for me. 1. You said you dont have a routine, well that's the first thing to change most if not all sleep problems are caused as children need a routine, so do up a routine and stick to it for a month and you will see a change in your 3 year old. 2.Try making a bed at the end of your bed or beside your bed so your child knows that when they come in they sleep in the special bed on the floor not in your bed, and maybe say it's batmans bed so something. If they refuse to sleep in it give them a choice batmans bed or back to your room & i can tell you what your 3 yearold will choose. Now i know this is not a cure and a lot of people will disagree with it but hey first things first try to get your child out of your bed is most important, 3. Also comes under routine - What time does your child eat? i have found my daughter if i feed her after 6.30 i will have no chance of getting her to bed early, as hey who wants to go to sleep on a full tummy, try and have dinner at 5 5.30pm. 4. Another thing is also we have told our daughter that she is not allowed to come into our bed untill its daylight not when its dark and that seams to work not every night but most. I realy feel for you and understand as most partents do as to what you are going through, but i cant help but notice that you havent spoken about your husband/parter? If you are doing it alone with no help god girl you are amazing. But if you have got a husband/partner get them to do one night and you do the other as happy wife happy life tell him as at the end of the day we all work and are all working towards a happy life and to enjoy our time with our kids a ... |
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| I have 7 children and its all about persistence and routine basically. With my last 2, twins I actually never put them in my bed at all and after a feed, change and cuddle I would return them to their own cots. With my others it was sometimes the crying method, there is nothing wrong with crying. I would just return after so many minutes reassure them, tuck them in, then leave the room. Each time a little bit longer. After a couple of nights it does work (maybe up to a week for stubborn kids). Just be consistant. I also never linger long once I put them in bed. I tuck them in with a kiss and a quiet song then say goodnight say I love you and then leave the room. Well its worked for me anyway, good luck. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I have 3 children, all boys and still the 5 and 2 yr old come into our bed anywhere from 12 midnight on. It's a parent thing. They do eventually out grow it. Enjoy it while you can. Our 7 yr old still comes in for a cuddle from 6am. Wouldn't want it any other way..... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Your comment is so rude you dont know what this ladies circumstances are. Keeping a child in your bed because they are ill is quite a common thing to do and doctors reccommend it when they are very sick. When they are better they need to learn to sleep on their own. Putting a child into his own bed is not cruel or wrong it teaches them independence. You cant keep them in your bed forever. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| My opinion is- a baby should not be put in a parents bed ever. It is possible to comfort them when you are not lying down together, not to mention the risks of sids increses by 50%! This method is definatly not worth the pain in the long run- or the risks for your children. All parents having difficulty now, i feel you have bought this on yourself. I have 2 Children, very different personalities, both were breastfed, and they were never comforted in our bed. I always got out of bed to feed, and settle them. This is a parents insecurity- not the childs. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You know, I don't want to go somewhere to learn how to let my child cry! Is that how you would want to be treated? My 3.5 year old slept in his own bed last night for the 1st time ever. He has always been a fireball and fights sleep to the bitter end. He has even held his eyelids open to stay awake. I tried to ley him cry it out and neither my husband nor I could see how that made anything better. When he was 2yrs old I was so horribly tired that I just decided not to fight it anymore and realize that he would not grow up and still be sleeping by me! I think people need to step back and look at the big picture and be gentle with their approach. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| i dissagree i had the exact same problem which got worse when i had my second child a doctor referred me to a place called tracillian they showed me how to let them cry to a certain point and reassure them that its ok and that u are not going anywhere and now my 2yr old goes to sleep on his own and in his own bed without crying | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| hi all i have a one yr old daughter who insists on sleeping in our bed almost everynight. however last night was the first night in ages she slept the whole night in her cot, and i spent the whole night checking to make sure she was ok so didnt get alot of sleep. i have tried everything i can think of to get her to sleep through the night but i am finally going to admit that maybe she just isnt the best sleeper. i guess sleeping most of the night by herself is better than not at all like it use to be. |
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| Hi everyone This is of real interest to me and I have to say it is a bit off to have personal abuse on this topic. I have two lovely boys (a one yr old and three yr old)one whom has never been a big sleeper (suprise suprise the three yr old!) and the other has always been a super sleeper. I am a massive believer in the personality theory of sleeper VS non-sleeper with external influences added on top just to spice things up. My three yr old is at this very moment asleep in "our" bed, and unless we have visitors it has been this way for a couple of months now. Not only that but I the mother am the only one allowed to put him to bed;our ritual of two books than I have to stay there until he is asleep. My fault? you bet! a bit of sickness and a new bub (I am also breastfeeding and no2 baby Kai still waking for 1 feed ) and hey presto bad habits, please I just need some sleep HELP!! Thanks for the music idea I will try that out, I guess you get out of trying stuff as the boys beds are in the same room and if one wakes and starts up than that one wakes the other and holly moses its on. If anyone else has any constructive advice I really would appreciate it. Especially anyone who has two youngsters in the same room. I am also not into the locking the door and letting them go for it idea I figure they're only young once and it goes oh soo quickly. |
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| This method is told by Dr.s all around the world and it really works. To all the parents that don't like, I believe that it is only because the screaming gets on your nerves. You just have to learn to deal with it because it only takes a few days to get them out of your bed and back into yours. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I think that what you do to your child is completely wrong! A Child did not ask to be here YOU brought him/her here, it is up to you to make them feel safe in this world! I sure hope it comes back to you 20 times fold! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Have you spoken to your maternal heath nurse i'm sure they could refer the child to a sleep centre,for some help. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| It's not my bed my son wants it's me and my arm without the two of them he wont sleep at all, last night i refused to go to bed with him and stay there so after the 5 time of him waking up he became revengeful towards me & wouldn't go back to sleep even with me & my arm until 8:30am the next morning, by that time i had been up for 24hrs with no sleep and he had only slept no longer than 2 hrs in that 24 hrs, i took him to bed 10 times with no luck, im envy of you that all it took was for you to swap beds around & get yourself a new one, but in the same breathe im glad for u too, who wants to have their kids in bed with them until they are nine like one of the people who responded to the original ? the way im going that will be me...... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ever since my 3yr old son has been born we have had sleeping problems and i have tried every thing from sleeping with him, rocking him in my sleep to let him cry himself to sleep (which is heart shattering) but thanks to him beening constanly sick all the way from birth to just pass his 2nd birday i am this moment still stuck with him in my bed. To have a new born who slept 4 hrs in a 24 period, to having a 3yr old who is nocturnal is extremly unbearable, i know that half the problem is my fault, but in my mind i can't be held to blame, i had no choice but to take him to bed with me, i was drowning in lack of sleep dealing with a sick tired grizzlely 1st born baby. Now that he is 3 things have gone from bad to cant get any bader, and i have tried everything that everybody has suggested and a whole heap more we have been to sleep clinics and many of dr's, now that he is 3 not many places want to help me, which makes me want to flip out, because i need some intervention which is good and healthly for all involved, i dont want to use the controlled crying ever again, it broke my heart doing that i would end up crying for days. So i feel like i'm lost 100% of the time, i get so guilty if my mum has him over night as i know that no matter what you do(unless you tie him to the bed) that he wont sleep. In 3 years he has only slept 3 times through the whole night and was a beautiful angle the next day each time, with out sleep which is all the time he is a handful, i'm like a zombie all the time and have no routine at all, everytime i had things working he would get sick and now no matter what i do or how hard i try nothing works, and it makes you feel like you failed as a parent, even though you know that you have busted your heart and soul out to fix things you still feel bad,as i know he feels better when he sleeps, i just want him to sleep normal hours in his own bed so i too can fianlly sleep, how nice that would be....... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hi Marie alot of the advice you have been given seems worth a try good luck | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| in our bedroom, we had our bed, and my daughters single bed. she had never slept a night in that single bed, but my husband has slept plenty in it! she would kick and push until he was out of our bed, and in the single. when my son was born, we had his cot in there as well (its a huge room thankfully). finally we decided that enough was enough, and we moved them both into their own rooms on the same day, and they havent been back since. we did however, give our daughter our bed! our son got the single, and we got a new one. it seems that it was the bed she liked, not the people in it, so that worked for us. good luck! |
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| Marie, I think night lights are great. If your little man is into cars, look for a car light..ships, a ship light etc...A gentle routine before bed also helps, cuddles, stories, and if stories is what he likes, maybe include the new lamp into the story. Gosh! the things we try for a good nights sleep, lol good luck!! |
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| I had a similar problem with my 3 year old until about 6 months ago now he sleeps in his own cot. My husband and I actually had to both be in bed with him and looking at him for him to go to sleep!Its hard to stick to your guns and not give in to your childs tears isnt it!But I placed my sons cot in another room from our bedroom,and always made sure he had his favourite toy (his musical Care Bear).At first he was very upset at not being able to sleep in the big bed with us but gradually over a period of around 2 to 3 weeks he finally accepted his fate.During the first few days I would sit next to his cot to reassure him i was still around and when he got grumpy i would sing his favourite songs to him, then in the second week I sat on a chair accross the room from him so he could see and hear me.To my amazement around the third week after we had done our nightly ritual of hugs, kisses ,saying goodnight to care bear and singing him "Away in a manger "or "Beautiful boy" , he started to go to sleep on his own. However to this day as soon as the morning comes he insists on having a bit of a snuggle up in the big bed with my husband and I.But thats something I am happy to do,after over 6 months of not ever having a proper nights sleep for fear of rolling onto him, never being able to cuddle my man or be cuddled in bed because our own little contraceptive device was sleeping between us ,waking to every move or sound he made throughout the course of the night and no intimacy (except during the short hours we had 2 gether in the day time (Thats what I missed the most) something had to be done ,I hadnt the foggiest idea how to tackle the problem originally and therefore put it off and put it off.But the battle has been won. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| night lights are the way to go for that resless child. At 2.5 yrs we were having trouble and introduced a light. Problem solved: until it blew up with a lightning strike. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Marie When my 2nd child was born, my first born started sleeping with us - I managed to get him to sleep in his own bed... at the age of 9 ! Good luck. |
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| sorry, I totally disagree with that method. It may work but it is a lazy method, resulting with the child just giving up due to parents not responding to their needs. Children need to be encouraged on their own and to know that their mum or dad is there if they need them. Going to sleep requires a relaxed environment not one where a child is reduced to tears. Besides you are giving conflicting messages to that child, starting with a warm, close environment with a cuddle and a story, then sudden lonliness. Most adults can't cope with those messages let alone a small child. It is not recommended. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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